Title: DeadAlive 3-What's Love Got to do With it?  
Author: Soleil Compeau 
Summary: Scully realized she was in love with Mulder.
Keywords: M&S friendship, Character death, Songfic.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. They are the sole
property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the Fox Network. No
copyright infringement is intended. Lyrics from Tina Turner's "What's
Love Got to do With it?" also used without permission. 
Author's Notes:  I couldn't help it. My shipper heart won out on this
one. 



Scully looked at the frozen TV dinner with disgust. It was her one
concession to Thanksgiving, other than to inform her mother that she
wasn't coming to the family dinner, as usual. Maggie had left several
messages before Scully finally called her. In the past, work had
prevented her from attending. She couldn't bear telling her mother why
she wasn't there this year, but she knew she had to eventually.

Venturing out of her apartment to purchase her Thanksgiving meal had
been harder than she thought. The world outside seemed strange. The
QuickMart cashier's gaze seemed remote and alien. Back in her
apartment, Scully heaved a sigh of relief. Here, everything reminded
her of Mulder anyway, so...

She conjured him everywhere, sitting on her couch, lounging in her
kitchen doorway. Sometimes she would talk to him. She imagined his
responses, what he would say to this or that. Sometimes he called out
to her from the bathroom and that made her giggle. Scully told herself
it was almost as good as having the real Mulder, almost.

She bravely lifted a bite of turkey and gravy to her lips. Suddenly
realizing that she hadn't said grace, she put it down and bowed her
head. Having dutifully recited the Our Father, she patted her stomach,
now hard and round at five and a half months. These were her rituals.
If she performed them well enough, she reasoned, she could keep her
pretend Mulder.

After dinner Scully went into the bedroom to listen to the radio. Her
ghostly partner lingered in the doorway with a mournful look. She
never let him in here. "Cry Scully," he suggested gently. "Cry for
me."

He was right. Ever since that day when she sobbed in the car, Scully
had been unable to weep. Her need to survive her crushing sorrow had
caused her to dissociate from her pain. She had gone completely numb.
The Ice Queen returneth. This was of course a Very Bad Thing. The hard
knot of agony in her grew daily bigger, much like her baby. It had to
be drained in much the same way a boil had to be lanced.

Reluctantly Scully turned the station to easy listening. Maybe some
sappy love songs would evoke an emotional response. The unmistakable
rhythm of Tina Turner wafted through the air. She listened with
interest. This woman's music had broken through her walls once
before.

You must understand
That a touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react

Scully caught her breath. Tina crooned on.

That it's only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract
It's physical....only logical

Scully's eyes began to gleam with tears. GhostMulder crept up behind
her, breaching the sanctity of her bedroom to slip his arms around her
from behind.

You must try to ignore 
That it means more than that

Oh, what's love got to do, got to do with it?
What's love but a second hand emotion
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

Scully's frozen heart began to beat frantically as the realization
dawned on her. Love. Love had *everything* to do with it. Love had
kept her by his side through it all. Love.

It may seem to you 
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed
I read it someplace
I've got cause to fear
There's a name for this
There's a phrase that fits
Well whatever the reason
You do it for me

Scully couldn't believe how deeply she had been in denial over this.
The longing looks, the slight touches...No wonder I always felt
'queasy' when he got so close to me, Scully thought with a stab of
sorrow for all her lost opportunities. As close as they had been, even
Mulder had not guessed at this final truth.

She didn't hear the rest of the song, nor any song after that. The
tears flowed freely down her face now. GhostMulder began to fade
slowly away. Animalistic sounds issued from her throat. "Mulder...come
back!" she cried out brokenly. "God please! I'll do anything, anything
to have him back! I love him. I love him so much!"