"DON'T GO / FINDING SCULLY " 1/1 By Pamala DISCLAIMER: Characters from the television show The X-Files used herein are the property of 1013 Productions and Fox Broadcasting Corp. CATEGORY: Character death sequel RATING: G ARCHIVE: sure just let me know SPOILERS: This follows my death fic "Don't go " SUMMARY: Frohike searches and at last finds Scully 6 months after Mulder's death. FEEDBACK sure love to hear it to PamalaSt@aol.com AUTHORS NOTE: Warning !!!! this is a sequel to a character death. Also if you find more boo boos than usual forgive me. Like the first, writing this and reading it over and over was tough and I had to get out before it broke my heart :( Read the orginal story " Don't go " at my site Pamala's Fan fiction page http://members.aol.com/pamalast/page/Pamalaindex.htm "DON'T GO / FINDING SCULLY " 1/1 By Pamala Even as I reach out to the ring the doorbell I know she is not gonna be happy to see me. As a matter of fact I'm betting she'll pretty damn angry that I found her at all. But I couldn't help it. Its taken more than six months to track her down , but she should have know one of us would catch up with her sooner or later. Mulder loved her , but so did I. Different, than he did, but important in my life just the same. They, No!, she made me believe in love. The years I watched them together showed me that real love was out there to be had for those lucky enough to find it. I saw it, everyone around them saw it. It was like their souls belonged together. There was nothing shallow or false about what they shared. They were simply better people for being with one another. That in mind, its easy to see why Dana Scully would hold my heart. She gave me faith to keeping searching for myself for what my friend found in her. I had to find her and know that she was okay. The look on her face as she opens her door to find Melvin Frohike standing there is priceless. Its at least eighty percent anger and annoyance but there is brief moment when I can see in her eyes in some small way she is thrilled to see me. Me, and a hint ,or memory of him. I suppose if I hadn't done my homework I'd have no idea it was her standing in front of me. But then again that's not really true, I know her face and would know her no matter what changes she'd made. Along with a change of name, her appearance is nearly unrecognizable as the woman I once knew. Her hair has grown long, and she's dyed it a deep brown color. She has on a pair of wire rimmed glassed, either fakes or maybe she had contacts all along? I give her a smile, really wanting more than anything to throw my arms around her and hug her tightly. Does she realize how hard it was for us, for me, to lose both of them at the same time ? How I needed more than anything to find her and know she was alive and well after saying good-bye to Mulder? Wondering if she might tell me to go away and shut the door in my face I ask her to talk to me as tentatively as possible. " Agent Scully can I come in and speak to you for a moment ?" She doesn't say a word just stands there looking at me as if I'm the one who has become a ghost and not her. " Please Scully, I've been looking for you for a long time, and come a long way to see you. Can you give me a few minutes?" She smiles at me stepping aside giving me room to get past her through the open door into her apartment. "Sure Frohike its nice to see a familiar face. I've missed you !' I put my hand gently on her forearm wondering just how lonely these last 6 months must have been for her " You miss him? " She turns away closing the door behind us. " Of course I do Frohike. But its still nice to see you anyway. Come in, we'll talk" I accompany her into the livingroom taking silent note of tears pooling in her eyes I know she'll never allow to fall in front of me. After taking a seat and accepting a cool drink I look around the room taking in the surroundings and life she looks to have made for herself before she returns with tall glasses of lemonade for both of us. The interrogation begins with the obvious question making me miss the Scully I knew all the more. " While I'm not surprised you did, I'm curious how you found me Frohike? I set my glass down moving forward on the couch. " Well, I suppose its as simple as I just kept looking". Realizing I've been staring at the tops of my shoes ashamed of intruding into the life she has made for herself I force my gaze upward to look her in the eye for the first time. "I understand why you felt you had to go Scully. But I owed this to him. I had to find you and see for myself that you are and were going to be okay, for Mulder's sake. I think its what he would have wanted me to do." She smiles brightly for the first time since I walked through the door. " Your right, he would have never let me get away with this. I'm sure Mulder would be pleased with you bloodhound-like tracking abilities. So while I can see the why I'm still waiting to hear the how?" " Oh ! Well, I just guessed mostly. That and plenty of digging. I thought you might intentionally get as far away from the life you had as possible . I just started looking for someplace where you could blend in and fade away from the person you once were." She' s looking at me funny and if the situation were different I'd most likely gloat from knowing I hit the nail right on the head. But instead I just go on. "The name was easy" Even as I say it I feel embarrassed and intrusive into her relationship with Mulder. " I thought you might use his name but since Mulder was a bit much, I went with Luder. A name that was his, but one that only a handful of people ever knew about. As for the Kathy, well I just thought you might hang on to a bit of who you once were. She picks up the glass taking several sips before returning it to the heavy wood table " So Kathy Luder is not much of a cover huh Frohike?" I smile back reaching for my glass in turn " Not for anyone who really knew the two of you and bothered to look for you " I stop to watch her face for a moment. "But their not looking anymore Scully !" The smile fades."My mom ? Is she okay Frohike ?" I move over on the couch taking her hand surprised that she allows me to without pulling away. " She's just fine Scully. I saw her after and I can tell she understood your need to be alone. She never looked for you Scully, because you asked her not to. But I know she is waiting and hoping to hear from you soon. She looks at me with raised eyebrows ? " You saw my mom ? My poor mother, all those year of Mulder and then you show up on her doorstep." Its an attempt at humor but I can see the pain written all over her face knowing what she has put her mother through these last months. I laugh a bit at my own expense grateful for a light moment. " Be nice Scully she was thrilled to meet me" I look at her face and she flashes me a wide smile. "Ok more likely , like her daughter, she merely tolerated my presence. But either way it went I needed to see her and let her know I was confident you would be just fine and that she shouldn't worry. Funny thing is I'd been beaten to it. I wasn't the first to come to her and assure her her daughter would be okay in time. And the first was most effective bearing her own daughters words" She leans back resting her head on the back of the couch letting her eyes fall shut as she speaks " Mulder's mother ?" " Yeah that's right. I saw them together at the funeral and whatever she said or maybe it was what you said to his mother on the phone, it worked and seems to be a big comfort to your mom Scully" She sits up suddenly, her eyes read and damp with unshed tears, doing what she can to shake off what she is feeling. " You were there Frohike ? you guys went to Mulder's funeral?" " Yeah we were all there. It was nice Scully. Like him, simple , proud and dignified. A few people asked where you were. But most knew and understood why you were not there. You'd already said good bye. And unlike the rest of us you were there with him, to touch him, and have him hear your voice when he needed you. It was what was right for both you and Mulder." She can't hold back any longer and I see the first tears roll slowly down her cheeks. "You know Scully there was bunch of white roses there with no card attached...." She turns away from me no doubt letting more tears fall " Yeah that was me. I felt bad about not being there and I needed him to know I was thinking of him. It was silly I guess. He didn't know either way , but at least it made me feel better at the time" My throat feels tight and my heartaches at witnessing the pain I know she must be feeling. "He knew Scully. You were there with him when it really mattered. I'm sure given choice he wouldn't have had it any other way. We should all be lucky enough to one day die in the arms of the one we love" She looks at her hands feeling the weight of what she says softly under her breath " I'm not going to be that lucky, am I' I take her hands still cradled in her lap offering any comfort and understanding I can "I suppose not. But you knew it, and you'll never forget that he loved you, Scully. And that might be as much as most people ever find or even hope to find in life ." Hoping to change the subject I touch her hand laying my thumb on a gold band around her ring finger. " So did you marry some Texan since the last time I saw you" Her mood lightens and she laughs out loud twisting the simple gold band around on her finger " NO! and I don't want to either. I just wanted to be left alone and this scares off any potentially interested party quite effectively" " How do you explain the absence of a Mr. Luder, Scully ?" She picks up and sips her drink and I reach for mine . " The work I've been doing only really leaves me in close contact with the same people for a couple months. Living in Houston I just tell him he works for the space program and travels a lot" "Space!" I start to laugh at the mention and she is right there with me. " How fitting " "Its works out well and I'm sure Mulder would like the notion" she says with a bright smile. I interrupt her proud of myself for not only having found her but for being clever enough to have found out what she has been doing with herself all these months. "I know you've been training to be a midwife, its and interesting choice Scully" She gets a far away but happy look on her face. "Yeah I have. And as it turns out I love doing it. When I started all I knew is I had seen enough death to last me a lifetime. I sat there powerless to stop it, as the one life that meant the most to me slipped through my fingers. I needed to touch life again and fine hope." She goes to the desk and brings back half a dozen pictures of newborn babies. I look at each picture slowly. " And you have Scully. What better way is there to find hope than helping to bring so many perfect , healthy, little humans into the world. She laughs again taking the pictures from my hand laying them on the coffee table in front of us. " Their babies Frohike, their called babies. But your right so far they have all been happy, healthy, little new humans and I was lucky enough to be there to help them get a good start in the world. I only wish I , we, could have..." Realizing where she is going with this thought I stop her by reaching down at my feet grabbing the huge nylon bag there and plopping in on the couch right between us. " I helped Mulder's mom go through his stuff and I brought you some of his things I thought you might like to have" She just stares at the closed bag for a few minutes. I can see her reach in and draw up the strength to touch him again as she takes a deep breath and reaches for the bag to open it and let Mulder slip back into her life. Wondering all along if I should leave her alone I watch her pull things from the bag. The first thing she takes out she hold silently in both hands running her thumbs over the smooth black leather cover of his Id and badge. She lays it softly on the table without even opening it and I realize that this is more than a name, a picture, or some silly identification number , its his, something he held in his hands everyday. As she stares at it lying there I reach in and pull out a large manilla envelope I know is filled with pictures. " Scully, the guys and I were going through some of our stuff doing sort of a memory lane thing over a couple beers and we put together some pictures for you. There are a bunch of Mulder, some of you..." I smile at the eager way she takes the photos from my hand. "We even managed to get a few of the two of you together over the years when you weren't looking" She sifts through the stack pulling one of both of them to the top. " I guess I do recall you walking around your lair with a camera hanging around you neck from time to time Frohike" She doesn't look up . Her eyes on the picture of the two of them together in her hand. " I suppose I just assumed it was more of a decorative piece than and actually working photographic device" She shuffles the pictures further in her hands looking at each one " I see you slipped a few of you and the guys in here " She says with a smile sweeping the photos back into a neat pile and into the envelope. " Their nice Frohike" she sets the envelope on the table turning to look at me. " Very nice, special and I'll treasure all of them. I can't really express it the way I want to, but I hope you understand how much it means to me to have these things. On cue, wanting nothing more than to make her happy seeing the sweet but sad smile on her face as she looked through the pictures I reach in and start to pull other items from the bag. " I took some of his favorite books he left laying around all the time, and a few of these notebooks that appear to be journals from his desk." She takes the stack of books setting them gently in her lap without a look as if their presence in her life is enough for the moment.Her eyes travel back to the rapidly emptying bag curious what other pieces of Mulder I have in store for her. "There are some personal items in here too" I take out Mulder's watch and hand it to her. " His mom gave this to me. Skinner found it on the floor of the hotel room" She takes it shaking her head. " We were late that day from wasting to much time looking for this. I guess I still can't believe we walked out of that room together that morning and less than a half hour later Mulder was dead" I don't bother to say a word because nothing I could say will help or change what happened that morning With a heavy sigh she takes the last two items from the bottom of the bag. Two envelopes, one long , white and thin. The other larger, tan and stuffed full stressing its paper seams. Both have her name on them. One in his hand and the other with handwriting I doubt she would recognize. " What's are these Frohike?" After moving the books to the table she sets the letters on her lap the smaller one on top running her fingertip over her name on he plain white heavy stock envelope " That one is from him Scully " She smiles a weak and sad smile her fingers still touching the words " I know . I know this handwriting as if I've seen it everyday of my life for the last six months" "Its was sealed Scully" I say shifting in my seat, hoping she already knew, but needing to tell her I'd never intrude on their privacy. " We found it with some of his things and I put it in the bag to bring to you right away" She leans forward putting it on the table with the rest of his things without opening it. " I know what it is Frohike. I had one in my apartment just like it. I just never imagined he'd be the first one to say good-bye" Her words and manner is calm, but I can feel the power of the emotions his last words, still unread, has on her as if it fills the room around me. I understand her more than I ever thought possible. This if for the two of them. I know she'll soon sit here alone and hear his voice through his words and share her still sharp, raw, pain and sorrow with the only one she can , Mulder. She turns the other on its end opening the metal clasp to peek inside. I can see the discomfort written all over her face I just knew this item would bring. "What is this Frohike ?" Feeling more uncomfortable than I imagine I would being stuck in the middle of something that was not my business in the first place I get up and cross the room to the window. "Well he left everything he had including the proceeds from the sale of his dads house, half to you and the other half to his mom. Other than a closet full of expensive suits I guess he didn't really spend much cash and it turned out to be a pretty sizable sum." That off my chest I turn away from the window to face her again. " His mom gave that to me to give to you. Who else was going to find you. I told her I would and I have " She tosses the envelope and its contents on the table disgusted and offended. "Well I don't want it !" I cross the room and take a seat next to her again. " Listen Scully I understand and I'll take it back with me if you want. Or you can just give to a charity or something. But before you make any hasty decisions there is something you should know and consider." " Okay I'm listening Frohike" Knowing the best way to handle this is honest and from the heart I just lay it out. "Scully, Mulder also left me and the guys a pretty lengthy letter. While we had picked up bits and pieces of what you guys had gotten into over the years we really didn't know exactly what the two of you were up against till we read Mulder's letter. He gave us a run down on the whole sordid mess Scully, and I think his leaving you that money and telling us what he did was his way of helping you keep up the search for the truth." She opens her mouth to speak but I don't give her the chance. " No wait let me finish. I think he figured if something was to happen to him he owed it to you to do all he could to help in the event you were not ready to give up the fight you'd taken up by his side. I watch her face as she stares blankly at me giving nothing away. " Have you given up Scully ?" I stand there waiting for an answer as she without a word takes the money , books and other items from the table and puts them back into the bag zipping it and returning to the floor at her feet. " No I haven't given up Frohike. I can't. I have to keep going for Mulder" She gives me a sweet smile as she stands picking up the empty glasses from the table as she goes. She turns her back and starts out of the room and I think its time I should leave. I stand myself and move toward the door just as she turns and speaks to me over her shoulder. "Come on Frohike I'll make us something to eat. After that I'll give my mom a call. Then we'll sit down and talk over what we should do next" The end As always thanks for reading Pamala Proud Founding member of the Over 30 Philes Read " My Name is William " and my other fan fic at the O3P site... http://members.aol.com/XayanFay/O3Phome.index.html The Gossamer Project Author - Title - Date - Spoilers - Crossovers - X-Files - Adventures - Stories - Vignettes Download Other stories by PamalaSt /Please let us know if the site is not working properly. Set story display preferences . Do not archive stories elsewhere without permission from the author(s). See the Gossamer policies for more information. /