Title - Love and Lovers
Author - Donna
Email address - donnah@pop.uky.edu
URL - www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/4571/
Rating - R
Category - MSR
Spoilers - None
Keywords - Scully/Skinner, MSR
Summary -  ??
Feedback - Please
Archive - Anywhere, just keep my name attached and let me know
Disclaimer - Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to
Chris Carter,10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended.


Love and Lovers


Mulder shoved a mostly limp Scully into his arms.  "Get her out of here!"

"What about you?"  His arms automatically supporting her.

"There's a bomb down there - we don't have time to get the others out!"

"Then you take her!  Let me handle the bomb!"

"You don't know where it is, and I don't have time to show you!  Go!"
Skinner nodded and lifted Scully over his shoulder.

He'd come out of the building on the opposite side from their cars.  No
problem, he just needed to get her away until Mulder could join them.  She
was stirring, beginning to struggle against him.

"Mulder, put me down!  I. . . Skinner?  What?"

"Mulder had me get you out of there, he's - "

"The bomb!  Mulder!"  She broke away from him, headed back toward the
building.  He grabbed her, pulling her back to him as he felt the hot wind
push at his back.  Then the concussion picked him up and threw him through
the air, slamming him into the ground, covering her with his body.  She'd
been screaming Mulder's name until they were slammed back to earth.  That
knocked the breath out of both of them.  He couldn't hear her but knew she
screamed still, if only inwardly.  Burning debris was now beginning to rain
down on them.  They could still easily die here.  He regained his feet,
pulling her up beside him.  She didn't resist, but she didn't help either.
He staggered a couple of steps before throwing her again over his shoulder
and moving as rapidly as possible away from the destruction.

The cars had surely gone up with the building, so transportation was gone.
Skinner headed toward the rocks that formed this gorge, there had to be
shelter there.  If he could climb with her, maybe she'd be able to walk by
then.

The heat was growing behind him so he turned.  The trees were beginning to
catch fire.  The area here could act like a chimney.  He sped up; he had to
get to the rocks.  It felt like forever, but finally he was there.
"Scully, we have to climb.  Can you hear me?"  She didn't respond, but he
put her on her feet in front of him.  She didn't resist but still took no
initiative.  He took her hand and she followed him up the slope.  It was
getting dark; the cloud cover wasn't helping.  Shit, was that rain?  That
wouldn't help the climb.  They had to find a crevasse, someplace to rest,
get out of the rain.  He was bleeding in several places from the shrapnel.
She probably was too.  Damn it was really starting to come down.  At least
the threat of fire should be down.

There, was that a crack in the rocks?  At least they could stand out of the
rain for a few minutes.  He pushed Scully in, shielding her with his body.
The flash of lightning caused her to jerk violently - the first reaction
he'd seen from her since he'd snatched her up.  But the light had also
shown him that this crack in the rocks extended back.  Maybe it was a cave.
 They could certainly use a break.  The next burst of lightning showed him
the entrance and he pushed her through it.  They stood just inside the
entrance until the next flash of light.  The floor was even, with debris
scattered around.  He tried his flashlight, broken. She didn't seem to have
hers.

"Come on Scully, we should be safe here."

She didn't seem to hear him.  She was drenched and her skin was cool to the
touch.  She was going into shock.  Come on, Skinner, think!  What's in the
debris?  Kids obviously used this place; there were beer cans.  He sat her
down; it was like moving a mannequin.  Then dropped to his knees to feel
around.  He stacked the cans near the entrance, piling the papers and
leaves together.  If kids were coming here they were probably smoking too -
tobacco or pot.  That meant matches or a lighter hopefully.  He needed to
get her warm.  There wasn't enough wood for a real fire, but maybe he could
heat this small area for a while.

Yes!  Matches.  Well, he wasn't so warm himself, huh? He forced his hands
to stop shaking long enough to strike the match.  The dead leaves caught
quickly and with the light that generated, he found the branches that were
available.  Well, that should last a little while.

He turned back to her.  She was still where he had sat her, but now she was
trembling violently.  He moved to her quickly and saw that her eyes were
dilated.  Definitely shock, and she was soaking wet.  "Scully, can you hear
me?"   No response.  Okay, first he had to get her dry.

He stripped off her jacket and blouse.  She had been cut by the shrapnel
too.  He took her shoes and then worked her slacks down her legs.  He began
massaging her body to stimulate her circulation.  He stopped long enough to
strip off his own soaking clothes and added a couple of branches to the
fire, spreading the wet clothes out to begin drying.  His t-shirt was only
damp, not really wringing wet, so he held it close to the small fire and
after it was heated, slipped it over her head.  Once she was covered, he
reached underneath and removed her bra before it could drench the t-shirt.
He moved her closer to the fire and lay her down facing it.  He fed the
rest of the wood to the fire, then spooned around her to share body heat.
Her trembling was lessening, but she was still completely out of it.  He
didn't have a clue what to do for her.

He must have dozed.  The fire was almost out.  She had turned in his arms.
What the. . . she was kissing him, running her hands over his chest.
"Scully, wake up."

"Mulder. . . hold me, Mulder."

"Scully, it's Walter.  I'm not - " Her mouth covered his.  What was she
doing?  He grabbed her hand as she encircled his cock.  "Scully, stop."

"Please Mulder.  Please."  She was pressing herself against him, obviously
not hearing him.  She really thought he was Mulder.  What was he supposed
to do?  He couldn't let her do this.  He grabbed for her hand again as she
eluded him.  Damn she was determined and part of him was beginning to agree
with her.

"Scully, stop.  You're not awake, you don't know. . . "  His words turned
into a groan.  How long had it been since a woman had. . . oh god.  He had
to stop this.  Now what was she doing?  He must be suffering from more
shock than he realized himself.  He was most assuredly not in control of
this situation.  She was over him now, holding him in place, impaling
herself. . .

"Scu. . . " He couldn't even finish the word.  She had complete control and
she thought she was making love to Mulder.  She hadn't processed his death,
but then neither had he.  If he forced her to face reality right now how
much more damage would he do?  Okay, a rationalization, but the woman had
him by the balls, literally.  He couldn't hold back any longer.  She
shifted, taking him even deeper.  As he came she threw back her hand
convulsing with him.  It was too dark, he couldn't see her eyes.  Did she
realize yet who he was?  Apparently not, she collapsed down into him and
with a sigh seemed to return to sleep.  What the hell had he just allowed
to happen here?  He could lose his job, hell; he could go to prison -
probably should for taking advantage of her.  Well okay, she'd taken
advantage of him possibly - that would hold up well in court, an ex-marine
being raped by a 95-pound woman.  Her movement in his arms brought him back
to the present.  She probably wouldn't even remember what had just
happened, especially with the state she was in.  He'd just look after her
the best he could and store this memory in some deep vault never to be
replayed ever.

He felt his own eyes growing heavy again and her quiet even breathing
against his chest was soothing.  Give it up Walter, you can't change
anything that's happened.

*****

Her movement woke him.  It took him a couple of seconds to orient himself.
Why was Scully lying in his arms here on the ground?  Oh.  Memory hit with
the force of a train.  Was she okay?
    
"Scully?"

She drew away from him slightly.  "Walter?  The explosion, it wasn't a. . .=
 ?"

"Nightmare?  No.  Are you okay?"

"Mulder couldn't stop it.  He wasn't here."

"No, Scully.  He wasn't."

"Then I. . . you. . . "

"I'm sorry Scully.  I should have. . . "

"I thought. . . " Tears had formed in her eyes.  This dream was rapidly
turning into memory.  It had happened, she had made love to Walter when he
saved her.  Walter, not Mulder.

"I know.  I tried, I should have forced you. . . "  He didn't know what to
say.  It had felt like he couldn't stop her last night, now he felt weak.
He had used her; he should have stopped the situation.

"It's not your fault.  And it wasn't fair to you."

"Fair to me?  What. . . ?"

"I used you.  I was out of my head and I . . . "

"Scully, don't think about it.  We can just put it down as a dream, part of
the nightmare from last night."

"You saved my life."

"You've saved mine a couple of times."

"I need to thank you."  Her hand caressed the stubble on his cheek, and she
brought her body back into contact with his.

"God, Scully, the last thing you should do is thank me."

"No.  You let me say goodbye to him."  Tears were flowing now.  "You could
have stopped me."

"I should have."

"No."  She repeated.  "I needed. . . that saved my life as much as anything
else you did.  Thank you, Walter."  She let her head fall back to his chest
and he held her quietly, giving her time.  They needed to get out here,
search, see what needed to be done.  But Dana needed this time, even if
they could ill afford it and he was going to give it to her.

*****

"Angie's not at her desk."  Scully let herself into his office.  He looked
up startled, then wondered why.  She had been here a lot lately.   "Are you
planning to be here late?"

"Uh, no, I'm almost ready to go."

"I thought we could get something to eat."  She settled herself on his
 couch.

"Oh, uh sure.  I'll just be a couple of minutes."  He began shutting down
for the day.  He hadn't expected her.  Was she okay?  She'd never spent so
much time with him, not that he was complaining.

He slipped the last file in his briefcase and stood.  "Where would you like
to eat?"

"It doesn't matter.  Wherever you want."

She just doesn't want to be alone, he realized.  He and she had a
connection now, one he had never anticipated, even in his wildest dreams.

After dinner, which she more pushed around than ate, he offered to take her
back to the office for her car.  "Look, you have work to do, maybe I could
help you.  We can go to your place and work."

"Okay.  That's fine."  He was trying to visualize his apartment.  When did
his cleaning woman come in?  Oh hell, she wasn't coming over for an
inspection.  They walked to the car and he held the door for her, then
turned toward his apartment.

He opened the apartment for her, allowing her to enter first.  She'd never
been here - he had good taste, nice furniture, even art on the wall -
framed.  Not like Mulder's apartment at all.  She shoved that thought away
brutally.  She couldn't think about him, wouldn't think about him, not yet.
 Maybe not ever - she couldn't imagine when.

At first Skinner tried to play host, but she assured him she didn't want
that and had him boot up his computer and open his briefcase.  He finally
told her to make herself at home since she obviously didn't want him
hovering and he did get down to work.

He was finishing a report when he realized he hadn't seen her in awhile.
He saved his document and went into the kitchen.  Not there, not in the
guest room either.  Well, he knew she hadn't left.  He headed into his
bedroom and spotted her clothing folded neatly over the chair.  She was
there, sound asleep in his bed.  What was going on?  Was she that anxious
not to be alone?  That wasn't the Scully he knew, but she only half existed
now he realized.  Yes, there was plenty of room, it was a king-size bed.
He sank into the chair, avoiding her clothes.

She didn't love him.  He knew that.  And he wasn't being fair to either one
of them letting her stay.  Especially since he was in love with her and had
been for years.  He'd never thought of himself as weak, yet this woman had
taken over his body and mind without even a struggle on his part.

*****

Slowly but surely her things began appearing in his apartment.  Drawers
were rearranged and cosmetics took over half of his bathroom.  He didn't
want to admit how much he was enjoying having her with him.  He'd thought
he was in love with her before.  Now, after living with her he knew he'd
only scratched the surface.

"Dana."  He pulled her closer to him in the bed.  He was almost accustomed
to having her there.  "You know we're the source of the best rumors at the
Bureau right now.  I'm getting concerned about your reputation."

She caressed his cheek.  "My reputation isn't that important to me."

"Well it is to me."

She took a deep breath.  "Then let's get married."  He gaped at her, unable
to form a response.  "The thought that distasteful?"  She smiled at him.

"Dana, you don't have to. . . "

"Why do you think I don't want to?"

"I know I'm not Mulder, Dana.  I know you don't love. . . "  Her fingers
touched his lips.  

"That's not. . . Walter, that's a different issue.  Mulder's gone."  She
still couldn't say dead, even after all this time.  "We're here, I'm here
because I want to be.  But. . . "

"What?"

"Walter, I can't give you children."

"That's not a problem for me Dana.  I'm kind of old to start a family now
anyway.  But you, you're still young enough to adopt or. . . "

"No."  That was all she said, but it closed the discussion.

He let her be in silence for a moment, then, "Do you want a wedding?"

"No.  I want us to go to a justice of the peace as soon as possible.  Just
the two of us, and my mother please."

"Of course.  Your brothers?"

"No. Just Mom."

"When do you want to do this?"

"Friday."

"Friday?  That's. . . that's only two days."

"Do you want to wait?"

"No!  I don't, but Dana, are you sure?"

"I'm sure I want to be with you Walter.  I already am, this is just to shut
up the mouths at the Bureau.  We're already together."

He dropped it.   If she wanted it this way, fine with him.  They'd really
be together.  He wouldn't wake to that small fear in the back of his mind
every morning that she wouldn't be there.  They'd belong together in the
eyes of the world.

*****

Marriage was better than he had anticipated, better than he remembered.
But he and Sharon had never shared what he and Dana did.  They couldn't,
Sharon would never have understood.  He still missed her and regretted her
death at such an early age, but he was whole again.  It helped him too, to
know that Dana could continue to love Mulder and not have it come between
them.  He understood, he had loved before as well.  She could draw comfort
from the fact that Mulder's final wish had been to get her to safety.  Now
Walter's life was better than ever.

*****

Angie wasn't at her desk when Dana arrived, so she tapped on the door and
opened it.  She knew he had planned no meetings for this afternoon.  They
had tickets to the show.  She smiled, he was so good to her.  Once a week
they always had a date.  They both needed the time together away from the
office and he came up with the most wonderful romantic ideas.  It was a
side of Walter she'd never even imagined.  He was just so good to her.

"Walter, are you ready? Walter!"  His complexion was positively gray.  His
breathing was shallow and from the door she could see the beads of sweat on
his forehead.  She was at his side instantly.  "Are you having chest pains?
 Sweetheart, can you speak?"

He looked up then, probing her eyes.  "I'm okay."

"You are not.  Try to take deeper breaths."  She was removing his tie from
where he'd already loosened it.  His pulse was rapid and thready.  "I'm
going to call 911, just try to remain calm."

"Don't call."

"Sweetheart, I think you're having a heart attack.  I want to move you to
the couch.  Let me help you."  He allowed her to take his arm and walked to
the couch.  She elevated his feet and rushed into his private bath.  She
came back with a glass of water and a couple of aspirin.

"Take these.  Let me help you."

"Dana, I'm not having a heart attack.  I'm okay."  He tried to sit up, but
her hands on his shoulders forestalled the movement.

"I'm the doctor in the family, Walter."  She took his pulse again.  It was
slower and stronger.  What was going on?

"I just want to go home Dana.  I'm fine."  This time he didn't let her keep
him from rising to a sitting position.  "Please, Dana.  Let's just go to
the apartment."

Her eyes showed her concern.  He knew she did care for him, maybe she'd
even grown to love him a little.  Now he didn't know if that was good or
 bad.

She took a deep breath, "Okay."  And put the aspirin in his hand.  "We'll
go home, but if anything changes I'm taking you to the hospital myself.
I'm driving."  She watched him swallow the tablets.

"Yeah.  That's probably a good idea.  I'm sorry I scared you Dana."

"You're still scaring me Walter.  I'm taking you home against my better
judgment.  I need to know what happened, what brought this on."

"Let's go home Dana.  We can talk there."  She insisted on holding his arm
on the way to the car, even opening the door for him.  He allowed it rather
than argue with her.  The thoughts of fighting with Dana right now drained
what energy he had left.

She kept watching him.  His color was better and his breathing was back to
normal.  It didn't make sense.  He'd had his annual physical a little over
a month ago and passed with flying colors, even the stress test.  She'd
have known if he were feeling ill.  They spent a lot of time together and
she was in his arms every night.  But she'd been sure he was dying when
she'd walked in his office.

They were home.  This time he didn't wait for her to open his door and took
her hand to hold rather than let her support him.  She shot him the eyebrow
but he didn't back down.

Once inside he was the one who sat her on the couch, then disappeared into
the bathroom.  He returned with a glass of water and two capsules.  "I want
you to take these Dana."

"Walter, what. . . you're the one that's ill."

"Please."  He held them out to her.

"What is it?"

"Seconal."

"Sleeping pills?  No, what if you need me in the night?  Besides my
tolerance is low for those, I'd never need more than one."

"Please Dana."  She tried again to read his face but he was carefully
impassive.

"If I take them, will you tell me what's going on?"

"Yes."

She still hesitated, "I only need one Walter."

"Take them both, Love."  Her eyes widened at the endearment, he so rarely
used them.  She knew she could trust him, she knew how much he loved her.
His actions were just so confusing.

She took the capsules in her hand and after another moment tossed them back
and brought the water to her lips.  He was watching her closely, so she
didn't attempt to deceive him.  After placing the water back on the coffee
table she opened her mouth to prove she had indeed swallowed them.

"Do I get a reward?"  She asked lightly.
 
He didn't respond for a moment.  "I guess you do."  He took her hand; "I
received some information this afternoon and had just finished verifying it
when you walked in.  Dana, Mulder has been found.  He's alive."

She didn't react at first.  She'd built such a shield around herself where
Mulder was concerned that any mention of his name caused her to retreat.
Finally her eyes searched his.  "Alive?"

He nodded, waiting.  "I have to go, I have to see. . . "  She was on her
feet and he had hold of her when she swayed.  Now her eyes locked on his,
"Damn you, Walter.  That's why. . . I have to. . ."

"I'm going to check on him as soon as you're asleep.  I need to see him
before you go.  I'll be back to get you."  He was helping her into their
bedroom and lay her on the bed, removing her shoes and pulling the afghan
over her.  He sat beside her on the bed and kissed her forehead.  "I hope
you can forgive me later, but I'm doing this to protect you.  If you wake
before I get back, please wait for me here.  Don't go to the office.
Please Dana."

She looked at him, not speaking but finally nodded.  Her eyes were already
closing.  She'd known it was a mistake to take those pills especially on an
empty stomach.  But it had not crossed her mind that Walter would ever hurt
her.  Why did he need to see Mulder first, what was he going to say to him?
 What would she say to him?  He watched a tear escape her eye and caught it
as it trailed down her face.  He hadn't felt this kind of despair since
Sharon had died. 

*****

"I understand you have a patient here by the name of Fox Mulder."  The
nurse glanced over at the doctor standing at the nurse's desk.

The doctor turned and smiled at Skinner.  "Fox Mulder.  Yes, he's my
patient.  Are you family?"

Skinner pulled out his ID.  "No, I'm Assistant Director Skinner of the FBI."

The doctor's smiled faded.  "Is he a fugitive?"

"No.  No, he's one of my agents.  He's been missing for seven months,
presumed dead."

"The presumptions weren't far wrong."

"Excuse me?"

"With what that man's been through I'm surprised he is alive."  At
Skinner's questioning look he continued.  "He had burns that haven't
healed, cuts and abrasions, but the biggest problem by far is the
malnutrition."

"Malnutrition?"

"I don't know where he's been, but it wasn't conducive to human habitation."

"May I see him?"

"Sure.  He drifts in and out a lot.  He seems coherent, but of course we
haven't been able to confirm anything.  The one thing he keeps asking for
is 'Scully'.  Do you know what that is?"

Skinner managed to keep his voice steady, though his heart was clutching.
"Yes.  His partner."

"Well, he's very concerned about him."

"Yeah.  Could you. . . ?"

"Oh, of course.  Follow me."  They paused outside of the door and Skinner
looked through the glass.  His mouth fell open.  "His injuries aren't life
threatening in and of themselves.  We've got his fever down and the
infections are under control.  We shaved him, but haven't cut his hair yet.
 He hasn't been able to sit up long enough for that yet."

"What does he weigh?"  He looked like pictures Skinner had seen of
Auschwitz survivors.

"He can't stand.  I estimate 110-115."

The doctor was being generous.  "Damn!"

"I'll be here at the hospital for another hour or so, if you have any
questions."

Skinner nodded and thanked him, then pushed the door open.  He pulled a
chair up close to the bed and sat beside him, looking at him closely.

"Mulder?  Mulder, can you hear me?"

"Um, what?"  Mulder opened his eyes and blinked to focus on Skinner.
"Scully?  Is Scully okay?"

Shit, the first words out of his mouth.  "Scully's fine Mulder.  How are
you feeling?"

"Tired, thirsty."

Skinner rose and poured him a glass of water.  It was obvious he wasn't
strong enough to hold it, so Skinner held the straw to his lips.  Mulder
lay his head back down exhausted from the effort, closing his eyes.

"Can you talk Mulder?  Can you tell me what happened?"

Mulder looked up at him again.  "Doors locked behind me.  Couldn't get back
down.  Got out, but barely."  He managed to grin at the obvious.

"Mulder we searched, where were you?"

"Don't know.  Cabin."  And he was asleep again.  Skinner leaned back in his
chair.  Mulder was closer to dead than alive.  He needed to bring Dana to
him.  He put his head back and closed his eyes.  He was going to lose her;
she'd never really been his to begin with, but god how was he going to give
her up?

He roused about twenty minutes later and again his first words were asking
for Scully.  Skinner had the information he needed, that he could get
anyway, so he assured Mulder he was on his way to pick her up and she would
be here as soon as possible.  

Skinner had Angie make arrangements for Dana and he to fly back on the
first available flight.  He would bring her here and leave.  She shouldn't
see him like that alone the first time.

*****

She jerked up from the couch when she heard his key in the lock and was
half way across the room before he got the door open.  He was startled and
tried to hide it.  He'd hoped she was still asleep.  He turned and closed
the door to forestall conversation as long as he could.

"Walter?  Look at me - was it him?"

"Yes, Mulder's alive.  I've come to take you to him."

"What?  What's wrong?"

"He's very weak, Dana.  They assured me his injuries were not life
threatening, but. . . he looks bad.  We didn't talk much, he falls asleep
easily."

"Mulder?"  She didn't realize he was holding her arm and had walked her
back to the couch.  He seated her and turned to fix her a brandy.  "Do I
need that?"

"I don't know.  I do."

"What did you tell him about us?"  Her voice shook slightly.

"Nothing.  That was never my intention Dana.  I just wanted to make sure it
was really him, I wanted to protect you."  

"Why would I need protecting?"

"You're my wife, Dana.  At least for now."  His eyes asked the question his
lips didn't.  She looked away, not yet, she couldn't deal with this right
now.  He sighed so lightly she wasn't sure of the sound.  "Are you packed?"

"Yes."  She glanced over at her suitcase beside his easy chair.  "We have
to tell him something."

"Not now.  It can wait."

"He's that weak?"  

Skinner nodded.  "Angie has our tickets waiting at the airport."

"You're going back?"

"I'm taking you.  I won't stay."

 "Walter. . . "  There was nothing she could say.  She had to see Mulder,
find out what was going on, how he really was.  Decisions would have to
 wait.

*****

They were both quiet on the flight.  She found she drew strength from his
presence, asking an occasional question, but mostly just knowing he was
beside her.  She would have said she didn't need coddling, but it didn't
feel that way from him.  She had known from the beginning how he felt about
her and now she was aware that her feelings for him had grown and changed.
What did that mean?  Whatever, she was grateful to him for just being
beside her.

*****

He was holding her arm as they approached the room and she realized she
needed it as she looked in the door.  "Oh my god."  She had hoped he was
exaggerating, he hadn't been.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."  Her answer was automatic and he gave her a grim smile, but
didn't respond.  He allowed her to open the door when she was ready.  She
stuffed her left hand in her pocket and slipped her wedding ring off,
leaving it there for now.  Walter had been right, now was not the time to
bring this up.

She approached the bed slowly, almost afraid, and stood looking down at
him.  Walter drew a chair up for her, but he knew she had already forgotten
his presence.

"Mulder? Mulder, it's me, Scully.  Can you hear me?"

His eyes drifted open and he looked at her for a few seconds before
realizing she really was there.  Skinner watched the recognition flow
through his body.  "Scully?  Really here?"

"Yes Mulder.  I'm really here.  Now you have to get well so we can take you
home."  He tried to lift his hand and she took it, bringing it to her lips.
 Walter turned away and let himself out of the room.  He didn't see Scully
look up and watch him leave.

"Missed you."

"I missed you too Mulder.  I thought. . . I thought you were dead.  I
searched for you, but. . . "

"I know.  Rescued by a man, he held me prisoner."

"What?"  Walter hadn't mentioned this.

"He kept me, fed me when he remembered.  Glad you're here."

"Just rest now Mulder.  I'm going to find your doctor and talk to him.  I'm
not leaving.  Go back to sleep."

"Don't leave."

"I'll be here when you wake up.  Rest."  She held his hand until she was
sure he was asleep again, then let herself out of the room.  She found
Walter in the waiting room, sitting, holding a magazine that he hadn't
bothered to open.  "Walter?"

"He asleep?"  She nodded.  "I wanted to tell you goodbye before I left.  I
got you a room at that little inn next door.  You can walk over any time,
but I'm leaving the rental car for you.  I'll take a cab to the airport.
Do you have enough cash?"

"Walter. . . "

"I'll get the paperwork taken care of for a leave.  You shouldn't use your
sick leave or vacation.  Why not just take this time without pay?"

"The expenses."

"Dana, I can afford this."

"But you shouldn't. . . "

"Dana."  She subsided.  He could afford it and he obviously wanted or
needed to do it.  She didn't want to fight, not now.

"Will you call me when you get home?  So I'll know you're safe."

"Sure."  He smiled at her.  "Take care of yourself too Dana.  Please call
me if you need anything."

"Walter, this isn't goodbye.  I just need to make sure he's okay."

"You also need time to think."  He took her hand and saw that her wedding
ring was missing.  He looked away, saying nothing.

She put her arms around him.   "I don't know what to say, Walter."

"Then don't say anything.  I'll call you in a couple of hours."  He kissed
her forehead and gently removed her arms from his waist.  Then turned and
headed for the elevators.  She watched him walk away and sank onto the
couch where he'd been sitting.  What was going to happen now?

*****

"Morning, Dana.  Mulder has a surprise for you."

"He does, does he?"  Dana smiled at Dr. Powers.  Everyone on staff had been
so good to them.  Mulder had become a pet to most of the nurses and Scully
kept her jealousy hidden - as though she had a right anyway.  She and Dr.
Powers continued toward his room and the doctor pushed the door open.

Mulder wasn't in the bed.  Her eyes frantically scanned the room and
spotted him in the recliner where she'd spent the first couple of nights
 here.

"Mulder!  You're up!"  She was at his side, her smile rivaling his own.

"I didn't get here alone, but it feels good."

"Yes, but I don't want you to overdo."  Dr. Powers joined the conversation.
 "In fact, you've been up long enough already.  I'll call Fred to help you
back."  Dr. Powers left the room and Scully squeezed Mulder's hand.

"I can't believe it!  You're beginning to look like your old self Mulder."

"That's my goal.  I want to go home.  I want to go home with you."  She
smiled gently.


The physical therapist was amazed as well and came to Scully.  "I've never
seen anyone as motivated as he is.  I think he'll be walking in a month, as
long as he keeps this up and gains back that weight."


She relayed that to him that evening while they ate dinner.  She no longer
had to feed him, he was strong enough to do that for himself now and she
knew how pleased he was with his progress.

She pushed back her tray and wiped her mouth.  "Are you up for telling me
what happened?  How you got in this shape?"

"I can tell you what I know, but it's not much."  He stretched and reached
for her hand.  Since his return his need to touch her had grown.  She
understood and agreed with the sentiment.  She hadn't been able to let go
of him herself for the first couple of days, sleeping in the recliner
pushed up against his bed.

"I gave you to Skinner, you were almost unconscious from the blow to your
head."  She nodded.  "I told him I had to get back downstairs.  He offered
to go, but I didn't have time to brief him and there were all those people
in the beds.  Did they determine how many died in the blast?"  

"They located thirty bodies.  Mulder, don't."  She responded to his wince.
"You did everything you could.  You saved Walter and me and you tried to
save the others."

"Yeah."  He looked off into space for a minute.  "I couldn't get back
downstairs.  The doors had all locked behind us when we came up.  By the
time I realized it, it was practically too late to get out myself.

"The blast blew me off my feet and must have knocked me out.  I came to
with my clothes on fire.  I rolled around and put it out and headed away
from the building.  It started to rain, didn't it?"

Scully nodded, her own memories intruding on his narrative.  The storm, her
confusion, she still remembered being in Mulder's arms even though she now
knew the truth.

"I collapsed in the woods.  I don't know what happened next.  I woke up in
a bed, if you could call it that.  I was in some sort of cabin, shack.  I
was in bad shape even then.  The burns wouldn't heal.  I'm sure I had a
concussion - I kept drifting in and out.  I thought you were there.  I
dreamed about you."  The color on his face darkened and he avoided her
eyes.  That dream, memory, whatever had sustained him for a long time.

"How did you get there?  We looked everywhere."

"The guy in the cabin.  He must have found me and took me back there."

"Who was he?"

"I don't know."

"What about a name?"

"Scully, I was there seven months, you've told me that.  He never spoke a
word.  He had to be insane.  He wasn't deaf, but he never spoke.  When I
was able, I would scream at him, anything to get a reaction.  It never
happened.  He'd go off for days sometimes, like he forgot I was there."

"Maybe he did."

"Then why would he strap me in before he left?  Sometimes he remembered to
feed me, sometimes he didn't."

"Oh my god, Mulder."

"You came to me more often when I was hungry."  Her eyes filled with tears.
 He'd been dreaming of her and she'd been safe in Walter's arms.

"Hey, it's okay Scully."  He squeezed her hand.  "I'm okay now, or will be
soon.  Then we can go home.  Since I don't have an apartment anymore think
I can talk you into taking me in?"  He gave her that leer she loved so
much, though she'd never admit it to him.

"We'll think of something."  That threw her for another loop.  She didn't
have an apartment to take him to either.  She lived with Walter, her
husband.  That little fact still hadn't come up.  He was better, but not
strong enough for that.  But then, neither was she.

 "Where did you go Scully?"

"Um?  Oh, sorry.  I'm just so glad you're recovering so well.  I wish. . . "

"Scully, it's not your fault.  I don't doubt you looked for me.  But this
unibomber clone seemed to enjoy my company in his own way."

"Mulder, how did you escape?  You couldn't have walked out."

He chuckled and looked down at himself.  "No.  But the SOB didn't want me
to die.  Strange as his care of me was, he wanted me to live.  I'd gotten
so thin by that time that I'd started skipping heartbeats."

Scully gasped at that.  It hadn't been mentioned to her.  She found her
hand on his chest to reassure herself it beat steadily now.

"I'm okay Scully.  I haven't skipped a beat since I saw you for real."

"He could have killed you - starving you, not treating your burns.  I want
him found and punished."

"What if he saved me Scully?"

She stopped and looked at him.  He might be right.  As bad as the treatment
he'd received had been, he was alive for her.  Alive, after she'd mourned
him all these months.

"Scully?  Come here, Scully."  He tugged on her hand and she rose, joining
him in the bed, holding him as he held her.  Doing what they'd always done
- drawing strength from each other.

*****

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Dana?"  She could hear the smile in his voice.  "Is everything okay?"

 "Everything is fine Walter, I just wanted to check in."  And hear your
voice, she added silently.

"I'm glad you did.  Is Mulder doing okay?"

"His progress is being called remarkable.  He's talking about coming home."

"That's all due to you being there with him.  You're the best medicine he
could have."  He said it lightly, grateful she couldn't see him, see how
saying that had affected him.

There was a short pause, then Scully came to the point of the call.  "He'll
be getting out soon and he wants to return to Washington of course.  I
don't think he would do well at a rehabilitation facility, and he doesn't
have an apartment anymore."

"You want to bring him here?"  He kept his voice level, but waited
anxiously for her answer.

"No, Walter.  I wouldn't think that would be a good idea.  I'm going to ask
Mom if he can use her guestroom.  I'll, uh, I'll have to stay there too,
work on his therapy at night, but I can work during the day."

"Isn't that spreading yourself a little thin?"

"I can do it.  But thanks for worrying about me."

"I miss you."  Damn, he shouldn't have said that.

"I miss you too, Walter."

"How did he react to. . .?"

"I haven't told him yet.  Walter, he's better, he really is, but he's not
that strong.  Let me get him home, get settled in, then I'll tell him."

"Whatever you think is best Dana.  Send me all the details, I'll make sure
everything you need is at your mother's."  There was another pause, neither
knowing what to say next.  She hated this awkwardness.  It had been easy
being with Walter, before.

"As soon as I clear things with Mom and get a definite date from Dr. Powers
I'll let you know.  I'm looking forward to seeing you."

"Believe me, the feeling is mutual.  You are taking care of yourself aren't
you?"

"Yes.  Not as well as you do it, but yes.  I better go.  I'll be in touch.
Good night Walter."

He waited until she hung up, then responded, "I love you Dana" and replaced
his own receiver.  He closed his eyes and lay his head back on the chair.

*****

He was like a child on Christmas morning.  They pulled up to Mrs. Scully's
house and she thought he was going to run to the door.  She smiled; he
probably would if he could walk alone.  It had been a long trip, but he
seemed energized by it rather than worn out.

"Sit still, Mulder.  I'll get the chair out of the trunk."

He made a face at her, but rather than falling on his face, acquiesced to
her demand.  She had pulled the chair from the trunk when the door opened
and Maggie came out.

"Dana!  Fox!  I'm so glad you're here safe.  Oh, I do need to fatten you
up, don't I?"

"You should have seen him before.  He. . . "  Mulder turned to look at her
as her voice trailed off, then looked back at the house to see what she was
staring at.  Skinner?  What was he doing here?

"Can I help you with that?"  He had approached the car and taken the
wheelchair from her hands, opening it and holding it steady as he
maneuvered himself into it.

"This is quite a homecoming."  Scully was smiling at Skinner and for some
reason it was making the hairs stand up on Mulder's arms.  Hell, it was
just Skinner and he was their supervisor.  Scully had pulled the bags from
the car and was walking beside Skinner as he wheeled him in; Maggie was
talking to him so he missed what the two of them were saying.  Probably
nothing, just checking in.  She had been away from work for awhile now.

Skinner rolled him into the bedroom, just to show him where he'd be
staying, and immediately returned him to the living room so that they could
all sit and relax a few minutes.

"Mulder, are you sure you don't need to lie down?"  Scully had taken the
seat nearest the wheelchair.

"Don't worry so.  I'm doing great Scully, it's so good to be here, to be
home."  She smiled at him and let it go.  He was a grown man, occasionally.

After a few minutes Skinner excused himself to return to the office.
Scully stood as he did.  "Let me walk you out."  He smiled and nodded.
Mrs. Scully distracted him as they walked out.  He hadn't realized she was
going outside with Skinner.  Well, she probably wanted to give him a more
complete description of his 'condition', she'd be right back.


"You look good, you must have gotten more rest than I was afraid you would.
 Did you actually use the hotel room, or sleep at the hospital the whole
time?"

"I stayed there the first couple of nights.  Once he got used to being safe
I got to use a bed again.  Thank you so much for being here."

"I couldn't wait to see you and this was a wonderful excuse.  Do I get to
kiss you hello?"

"Please."  She went into his arms; she had missed this man more than she
had anticipated.  Well, he was her husband, she'd spent many wonderful
hours in his arms.  Too bad things were so complicated now.  She was going
to hurt one of these men, how the hell was she going to live with that?
Her arms tightened around him.  "I do love you Walter."

"I know.  We'll work everything out somehow.  First priority is getting him
back on his feet, so he can come after me for what I've done."

She smiled sadly at him; he was only partly kidding.  "You better get back
inside.  I'll call you tomorrow."  He kissed her again, a lingering kiss
then gently pulled away and got in the car.

She took a deep breath to steady herself and went back inside.

"What took so long?"  Mulder had been waiting, still not used to her being
out of his sight.

"Just checking to see if I still have a job."

"The Bureau would never let its best go.  You have been gone a lot though,
are you doing okay?  I mean financially?  I've got a lot of back pay
coming, if you. . . "

"Mulder, I'm doing fine.  Don't worry about that."

"You'll let me know, won't you?"

"I promise."

*****

They settled into a routine, the therapist coming over every day while
Scully was at work. She had gone to Quantico to teach so that she wouldn't
have to go out of town.  Mrs. Scully kept up her own schedule, Mulder
insisted he would be okay alone.  He made certain his first task was to
learn to maneuver the wheelchair alone and Mrs. Scully made sure there was
plenty of easy to reheat foods available where he could reach.  The kitchen
had been revamped to make things accessible to him.  

Every evening Scully repeated the therapy and they exchanged reports on
their days.

She was thrilled when she came home and found a walker.  "I'm just glad you
weren't here to see me use it.  Or not use it actually.  I did stand."  He
admitted ruefully.

"See?  It won't be long Mulder.  You have to stretch yourself, but don't
push too hard.  Promise me."

He smiled and looked up as Mrs. Scully joined them.  "Dana you have a call."

"Oh?"  She caught her mother's look.  "I'll take it in the kitchen."  She
was up and out before he could speak.


He waited for Scully to leave the next morning before approaching Mrs.
Scully.  He wheeled in as she poured a glass of juice.

"Good morning Fox.  Did you sleep well?"

"Mrs. Scully - "

"If I used a two by four could I get you to call me Maggie?"

He smiled.  "It might help."  He sobered immediately and looked away.

"Fox?  Is something wrong?"

"That's what I need to know."

"I don't understand."

"Something's going on.  Scully's keeping something from me."

"Fox, I - "

"No, please.  I know her well enough to know that.  I got paranoid, yes, I
know that's not like me. . . " He tried to grin.  "But I was beginning to
think she was keeping something from me about my recovery.  I called my
doctor, that's not it.  But something is being kept from me.  Maggie, you
know how much I care for your daughter.  I need her to be honest with me.
If she's protecting me from something, she doesn't have to.  Yes, my legs
are still weak, but my mind's clear.  If she's got a problem I want to help
her.  Do you know what's going on?  Please, I don't want or need to be
treated like an invalid.  Not anymore."

"Fox, I'm sure she doesn't mean to treat you like that.  She knows what
wonderful progress you're making.  I'm sure that your perceptions are
correct.  Let me talk to her, see if I can find out what you're talking
about."

He nodded, avoiding looking at her.  She was in on it too.  Without saying
another word he rolled himself out of the room.  Maggie closed her eyes.
Why did anyone ever underestimate that man?  How could they think they
could keep something this important from him?

She was waiting at the back door for Scully when she arrived home that
evening.  "We need to talk, about Fox."

"Oh god, he didn't fall did he?"

"No.  But that's part of the problem.  You're still treating him like he's
ill Dana.  He's not and he knows something's being kept from him.  You
can't treat him like a child, Dana.  You're not being fair to either man,
and especially not to yourself."

"Mom, I'm not ready to deal with this.  Not yet.  Let me go check on him."
She pushed open the door from the kitchen and found herself looking into
the anxious eyes of Fox Mulder.

"I think," he swallowed, "I think we need to talk."  He turned the
wheelchair around and headed toward the living room.  She looked back at
her mother, shook her head and followed him.  He had pulled his chair up
next to the couch, waiting for her to join him. 

She sank down on the couch, not quite meeting his eyes.  "Scully?  Please.
What's going on.  What did your mother mean, you're not being fair to
either man?"  His voice shook on those last two words despite his best
efforts.  "What happened while I was gone?"

He had leaned in closer and closer to her as he spoke.  She did her best
not to retreat from him, but his power was overwhelming.  "Scully, did you
meet someone?"

She looked down at her hands, clasped in her lap and nodded.  She took a
breath and looked over at him, his knuckles were white against the arms of
the wheelchair and he looked as though he'd been hit in the gut.

"Who Scully?  Do I know him?"  His voice was barely a whisper, as though he
couldn't draw a breath.

Her eyes flickered up at his and away.  "Walter."

"Walter?  Walter Skinner!  Oh god!"  He leaned back away from her then,
color suffusing his face.  "You've got to be kidding!"

"Walter is very good to me, Mulder.  I couldn't have gotten through the
last few months without him.  He literally saved my life Mulder.  I thought
you were dead, I couldn't. . . I didn't want to go on."

"Do you love him?"  That dangerous quiet tone, he'd never used it on her
though she'd heard it before directed at others.

"Yes.  I do, Mulder.  The problem is I love you too.  That's why- "

"Are you sleeping with him?"  She flinched away and he drew closer, taking
her arms in his hands.  "How far has it gone, Scully?  Are you sleeping
with him?"

"We're. . . we're married."

"Marri. . . "  He couldn't get the word out.  "No, you can't be.  Not to
Skinner.  When?  How long have you two been married?"

She looked up at him, unable to answer.  She'd never seen Mulder like this.
 When he'd pointed the gun at Krycek after his father's killing he hadn't
been this angry.

"Six months."  They both jumped as Skinner's voice came from behind him.
They'd been talking in whispers; it sounded as though he had shouted in
their ears.

"Six?  Jesus Scully, couldn't you wait for my body to get cold?"

She tried to draw away from him.  "Let her go Mulder.  Let go of her,
you're hurting her."

He hadn't realized how strongly he was holding her.  He managed to let go
of her and saw the imprints his fingers had left in her flesh.  She jumped
from the couch when she was free and raced from the room.  Mulder pulled
his chair out as though to follow her.

"Let her go, Mulder.  Give her some time."

"Like you gave me?  You married her?  You married Scully?  How could you. .
. ?"

"I know we've hurt you, Mulder, but. . . "

"Hurt me?  Hurt me!  How could you do this?  How could you pursue her like
this?  You had to know how vulnerable she was."

"You don't know how it was.  Your strong independent Scully dissolved.  She
was barely able to function.  I know of two nights she actually slept in
the office because she didn't want to go home alone.  I've never seen her
like that. Yes I stepped in.  She was comfortable with me.  We already had
a relationship."

"Which you exploited to your advantage."  Mulder spat bitterly.

"I'm telling you it wasn't like that, she came to me."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, I have for a long time.  Mulder, but I'm not stupid or na=EFve.  I kno
w
I would never have a chance with Dana when you were alive."

"Well you sure as hell jumped on the chance with me out of the picture."

"No Mulder.  Dana asked me to marry her.  You want the truth?  I wouldn't
have the guts to ask Dana Scully to marry me.  But I'm not idiot enough to
say no."

"She asked. . . "

"Dana didn't want to be alone.  I was there for her.  We were good for each
other, and then you turned up, alive."

"And screwed up your perfect little marriage."

"Probably.  But I won't let you hurt her."

"What?"

"I don't just mean physically - which by the way you did tonight without
even realizing it."  Mulder looked away, he had done that.  He hadn't
forgotten the marks his hands had made on her arms.

"I need to leave."

"You can't.  You're not well enough and she wants you here.  She's made it
clear that she cares about both of us.  We need to give her time."

Mulder slumped in his chair.  Wait?  For what?  She'd given herself to
Walter Skinner.  Oh god.

"I'm going to check on her, then I'll be going home."  Mulder didn't
respond so Walter turned and left him to himself.  He couldn't help him
anyway.

"Dana?  Are you okay?"  She was sitting on her bed, staring into space.
"Dana?"  He sat on the bed beside, but not touching her.  He sighed,
nothing was going to make this better.  "I've changed my mind about that
conference in Toronto.  I'll be leaving tomorrow.  I'll be gone about a
 week."

"Why?"  She finally turned to look at him.

"You two need a little time, now that he knows.  A little time without me
here."

"Walter. . . "

"It's okay, Dana.  You need this."  He gave a sad chuckle, "Maybe I should
take him with me."

"Walter, I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything right now.  I'm not pushing you to decide
anything.  Give yourself a break Dana.  None of this was your fault."  He
took a deep breath and stood.  "I'll see you next week.  Angie will be able
to reach me if you need anything."  She reached up to him and he squeezed
her hand, then turned and left.

*****

"Fox?  May I come in?"  Mrs. Scully tapped on his door.

"I'd rather you not."

She eased the door open.  "I understand, but this time I need to disturb
 you."

"Mrs. Scully. . . "

"Fox, I can only imagine how you're feeling, but I know that Dana is being
torn apart.  Now that you know. . . regardless of how you're feeling she
needs your support.  I know how much you care for her, what she means to
you.  Fox, she needed someone after you. . . died.  She was actually afraid
to be alone.  I've never seen her like that.  He's been good to her Fox.
Whatever you're thinking, feeling right now, she did what she had to do to
take care of herself.  That's all I have to say.  I'll see you in the
morning."  She rose and went to the door.  She turned back to look at him
with her hand on the knob.  He look as lost as Dana had.  "Good night Fox."

*****

"Scully?  Let me in, please."

There was a long silence, then he saw the knob turning.  So, she hadn't
been able to sleep either.  She opened the door and stepped aside to let
him enter.  He rolled the chair to beside her bed.

"I'm sorry I grabbed you like that.  I had no business doing something
stupid like that.  I was upset."

"I know."  She barely whispered.

"I'll find a place tomorrow."

"No.  You're not well enough to leave."

"I'm sure Skinner's ready for you to come home."

"Walter's going out of town tomorrow."

"Why?  Can't he postpone it?"

"To give us some time."  He absorbed that in silence.  He had absolutely no
response to that statement.  Finally, rather than blow it worse than he
already had he rolled the chair back toward the door and let himself out.

*****

Things were awkward between them for several days.  He couldn't forget even
for a second that she was married to another man.  She was afraid to push.
Their conversations were stilted and shallow for the first time since they
had known each other.  

She was still staying at her mother's house, near him and that finally
penetrated through the painful haze that his days were now composed of.
And Walter had given them this time together; he could ruin the rest of his
life if he didn't at least try to communicate with her.

He knew Mrs. Scully was out for the evening and he could hear the TV in the
living room.  How much more could he lose than he already had?  He rolled
himself to the door and looked at her.  She was facing the TV but he would
tell she was unaware of it.  She looked so miserable.  Because of him?  Or
just the situation in general?  What was the difference?  

He pulled his chair up next to her.  "Scully?"

She'd heard him approach and had steeled herself for another tirade like
the night he had finally learned of she and Walter.  They hadn't really had
a conversation since then; he had even refused to let her work with him on
his therapy.

"Yes Mulder."  She didn't turn to him.  If he was going to fight, he'd have
to do it alone.

"Could I keep you company?  Just for a little while."

"I'd. . . I'd like that."  He let go of the breath he was holding.  They
sat in silence for a few minutes, both pretending to pay attention to the
broadcast.

"Scully?"

She finally turned to look at him.  He didn't look as good has he had just
a few days ago.  Mom said his appetite was gone.  He didn't need this, if
only he hadn't overheard that conversation, gotten a little stronger first.

"Am I going to lose you?"

"No, not unless you want to."

"I don't!  I don't know how to act around you Scully.  We never. . . I
mean, our relationship. . . Shit!"  He started to roll the chair away, but
she caught it.

"Don't walk away from me."  They both realized what she'd said at the same
time and actually chuckled.  He gave her a sad smile.

"Where do things stand with us?"

"The truth?  I don't know.  I love Walter, he kept me alive when I didn't
know if I wanted to be."  Mulder winced at that.  "But I love you too.  I
know we never discussed it, but it was there, we both knew it.  I haven't
made any decisions about the future Mulder.  I don't even know if Walter
would want to stay married to me, knowing how I feel about you."

"He would."

She looked down and then back at him.  "Would you?  Knowing you'd have to
share me?  Knowing I can't bring myself to commit to one and not the other
of you?"

"Is that really the way you feel?"

"Yes, Mulder.  I love both of you.  I can't envision my life without both
of you in it.  I don't even want to."

"Well, I guess that's a start.  I won't push you Scully.  At least I'll try
not to.  You have to know it kills me to think of you and Skinner together."

"I know."  She reached out her hand and he took it.  The art they had made
of handholding had not diminished with their separation.  They both seemed
to relax a little and sat together, more comfortable than they had been for
several days.

Mrs. Scully noted the difference immediately, the entire atmosphere of the
house was lighter.  She breathed a sigh of relief and vowed to find
something to do out of the house each evening for the rest of the week.
Walter had been at least partially right, they needed this time alone.  But
what did that mean for her marriage?

The last night before Walter was to return they were sitting together in
the living room.  He had managed to take the two steps necessary to walk
from the wheelchair to the couch and could actually sit beside her.  It
gave him the courage to say what he'd wanted to say for a long time.

"Scully?"  She smiled at him, she was so pleased with his progress.  That
setback had frightened her more than she had realized.  "I want to make
love with you."  Her smile faltered and her gaze went deep inside.
"Scully?"  Shit, he should have kept his mouth shut.  Things had been going
so well.

"We have."

"What?"

"The night of the explosion.  I made love to you.  I know now that it
wasn't your body, but it's you I see when I remember it.  It was your name
on my lips, the taste of you in my mouth."  She dropped her eyes.

"Scully, how do you know how I taste?"  She looked up at the low melting
tone in his voice in time to see him descend toward her mouth and felt his
lips on hers and his tongue begging admission.  She responded with a fervor
he had only dreamed.  He pulled her closer to him, his hand finding it's
way inside her blouse.

"Mulder, wait.  We can't.  Please."  He released her reluctantly, but she
was right.  Even if she weren't 'involved' he didn't want to grope her on
her mother's couch like some horny teenager.  He wanted to take her into
his bed and make love to her all night, every night.

"Should I feel a little cheated?"

"You said I came to you that night, you said the vision of me kept you
 alive."

"Why Scully. . ." He did smile then.  "What an extreme possibility."  She
swatted at him, then leaned against him and let him hold her.  "Skinner
comes home tomorrow, doesn't he?"

"Yes."  She offered nothing more; she was no closer to making a decision
that she had been when she'd found out he was alive.  He sighed but
requested nothing more.  This wasn't a woman you could push like that.

*****

He let himself into the apartment.  It had been a long, fairly useless
week.  A waste of his time, if the truth were known.  But he had needed to
give Dana space.  No one could dictate to a woman like that.  He missed her
so much he ached.  Not just sexually, she had brought so much to his every
day life, hell his entire existence.

"I'm glad you're home."  He whirled at the sound, Dana?  Here?  "Did I
scare you?  I didn't mean to."

"I didn't. . . I didn't expect you."  And he didn't know whether to be
pleased or frightened.   Had she come to tell him she was leaving him for
good?

She saw the uncertainty in his face and came to him.  She put her arms
around his waist and rested her head against his chest.  "I thought we
could have dinner, catch up.  I haven't seen you in over a week.  I did
miss you Walter."

"I missed you too.  Where would you like to eat?"

"Here.  I brought supper.  I just have to heat it up."  She turned to go
into the kitchen.

"Dana, let's get the bad news over with first.  Please."

"I didn't come to give you bad news Walter.  I came to see you, I can't
stay the night, but I don't have to leave early either."

"Are you. . . "  He shook his head, don't push you idiot.  She was here,
she wanted to spend time with him and she didn't have to leave early,
whatever that meant.  Go with the flow, Walter.

He changed into casual clothes while she fixed dinner, and brought her a
glass of wine.  She smiled and took it.  "Thanks.  It's good to have you
back."

"Now it feels good to be back.  I wasn't sure it would."

"I've made no decisions, Walter.  Mulder, well Mulder needs me and I know I
need him.  But I need you too.  That's not right, it's not fair, it's not
even sane.  But it is the truth.  Let's just enjoy each other's company
tonight and see what happens tomorrow.  Okay?"

"With pleasure."  That out of the way, they did enjoy the evening.  Supper
was delicious and they fell into the easy conversation style they had
developed while living together.  He told her stories about the people at
the meeting and she brought him up to date on happenings at Quantico.  They
barely noticed when they moved to the living room and continued talking on
the couch, finishing the bottle of wine and then brandy.

She wasn't even caught off guard when he leaned over the kissed her at the
end of one of her stories.  "Walter?"

"Do you mind?"

"No."  So he did it again, and again.  It seemed only natural when they
found themselves in their bedroom.  And even more natural nude in each
other's arms.

He held her close as she dozed in his arms.  Better than he had remembered.
 Loving this woman was so easy.  She was the most incredible woman he had
ever known.  She was here with him, completely with him.  Why did he still
not feel confident that he could keep her?  Her bond with Mulder was so
deep, so strong.  Even with her lying here nude in his arms he knew he
couldn't compete with that.  They were part of each other in a way he and
she could never be.  She shared her body and her life with him, but she
shared her soul with Mulder.

She stirred and opened her eyes.  Her smile warmed him to the core.  She
rose and kissed him.  "I need to be getting back to Mom's."

He nodded, not letting go of her.  "Already?"

"Walter."  Her tone was warning.  She kissed him again and left the bed.
He lay there watching her dress, admiring her, wanting her again already.
When she was dressed he rose and put on his robe.

"Are you okay to drive?"

"I am now.  I'm glad you're home Walter."

"Will you be at work tomorrow?"

"Yes.  I'll try and stop by.  Good night."  She kissed him again and let
herself out of the apartment.

She entered the house quietly.  Everyone should be asleep.  She might have
made a mistake tonight.  She hadn't planned to sleep with Walter, just
spend some time with him.  Her body had taken over and she had to admit she
hadn't been this relaxed in weeks.

She slipped on the light switch in her room and dropped her purse on the
dresser.

"Kind of late aren't you?"

"Mulder!"  She spun around.  "I thought you'd be in bed."

"I couldn't sleep.  I wanted to make sure you were in safe."

She hadn't expected this.  Tomorrow would have been better.  She'd have
been more in control.  "Thanks, but I haven't had anyone wait up for me in
years.  Go on to bed, Mulder."  She reached down to remove her shoes,
avoiding looking at him.

"Okay.  Goodnight Scully."  He started for the door and stopped.  She
looked up to see if he was snagged on something.  His eyes were open wide
in horror.  "You slept - "

"Mulder, please."  God, had he known just looking at her?  Why did he have
to know her that well?

"No!"  It was a snarl.  She'd never heard that kind of sound come from him.
 For the first time in her life she was afraid of him, not for him.

"Mulder!"  He was past her now though she tried to stop him.  "Don't do
this Mulder!  Mulder!"  She heard his door slam and the lock catch.  She
sank to the floor crying.  What had she done?

She slipped out of the house early, before her mother was up.  She couldn't
face them.  Walter either.  She'd betrayed both of them.  How could she
have thought she could have both of these men?  After last night she didn't
deserve either of them.

Her mother, unaware of the turmoil, left the house herself at her normal
time.  As soon as she was gone Mulder hauled his suitcase out to the front
door.  His cab should be here shortly.  He had to get out of here.  He'd
thought they were growing closer, but if she was sleeping with him,
sleeping with her husband. . . his whole body ached at the thought.

He had the driver come in and get his things.  He'd find a place to stay
until he could locate an apartment he could manage on his own.  There were
enough delivery services in the city to keep him fed.  He'd manage; he'd
lived more years without her than with her.  She'd made her choice and he
needed to give her the space to enjoy it.  He would survive.

*****

When Mrs. Scully returned home she quickly grew frantic.  Fox was gone,
along with all of his things; Dana hadn't shown up at work.  What had
happened?  Had he suffered a set back?  Why hadn't anyone called her?  In
desperation she finally called Walter, pulling him from a meeting.

"Walter, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know where Dana and Fox have
gone?"

The question hit him like a ton of bricks.  He hadn't been able to locate
her all morning.  Now he understood, last night had been a mercy fuck, a
goodbye.  She'd made her choice.

"No Maggie.  I haven't seen either of them today."  He kept his voice
steady, devoid of any emotion.  "I'll have her call you if I hear
anything."  He hung up before she could speak again.  It was hard being
rude to Maggie, but if he flew apart over the phone it would be even worse.

He flipped through his address book and dialed the phone.  "Jerry?  Walter
Skinner.  I need you to draw up divorce papers for me.  I want them served
today."

"Today?  Walter, that's not a good idea.  Let me come over and talk to you."

"Today Jerry.  She won't accept alimony, just whatever we came into the
marriage with.  I'm sure that will be acceptable."

"What grounds?  Adultery?"

"No!  Put down. . . put down irreconcilable differences.  Get this to her
as soon as possible Jerry."  It was what she wanted, what he'd been
expecting if he were honest with himself.  She needed space to on with her
life, he could give her that.  He hung up before any more questions he
couldn't handle could be asked.  Meeting - hadn't he been in a meeting?  He
had to get back to it, he had to throw himself into something, think about
something else.  Anything else.

*****

Maggie Scully was at her wit's end.  Something had obviously gone very
wrong.  Dana would never leave with Fox without letting her know and
Walter.  He had been devastated by her call, though he'd tried to hide it.
She shouldn't have called him, but why couldn't she find anyone, all of
these people had cell phones that they practically slept with, and now she
couldn't locate anyone!

When the phone finally did ring she snatched it up before the first ring
had quit echoing.  "Hello?"

"Mrs. Scully, its Fox.  I just wanted you to know I was okay."

"Fox where are you?"

"That's not important.  I really appreciate everything you've done for me
these past few weeks.  I can never repay that kind of generosity."

"Fox, what is going on?  Why have you moved out?  Where's Dana?"

"I assume she's at work, or with Skinner."

"How can I get in touch with you?  Tell me where you are Fox!"

"Don't worry about me Mrs. Scully.  This is what she wants, and she
deserves to get what she wants.  She deserves a lot more than I could ever
give her.  I'll be okay.  That's all you need to know.  Goodbye."

"Fox!"  But he'd already hung up.  What the hell was going on?  She felt
like she'd been out of touch for a week instead of less than half a day.
Dana wasn't with him and she wasn't with Walter, or even at work.  Now she
was getting frightened.  Where was Dana?

Maggie had decided to call Walter back, despite the strangeness of that
conversation when she heard Dana drive up.  She met her at the door.

"Thank God!  Dana are you okay?"

She looked exhausted; "I'm fine.  Mom, I need to talk to Mulder for just a
minute."

"He's not here."

"Not here?  What do you mean?"  The exhaustion was rapidly being replaced
with concern.

"When I got home he was gone, all of his things are gone.  And you weren't
anywhere.  I called Walter and he didn't know anything."

"You called Walter?"

"Something's wrong with him too.  But Fox did call, just before you came
in.  He refused to tell me where he was, just that he was okay.  That's
when I realized you weren't with him."

"What's the call back?"  She reached for the phone.

"I already tried it.  He's turned his cell phone off.  You can't trace it."

"He's not strong enough to be on his own yet.  What have I done?"  Before
Maggie had a chance to voice that question herself the doorbell rang.

Scully flew from the kitchen to answer it.  An unfamiliar man stood in the
doorway.  "Yes?"

"Dana Skinner?"

"Yes."

"This is for you.  Have a pleasant day."  He handed her an envelope and was
gone.

"What is it Dana?"  She hadn't realized her mother had followed her into
the living room.

"I don't know."  She turned the envelope in her hands; the return address
meant nothing to her.  She tore it open to pull out the papers inside.  And
sank into the chair beside the door.

"Dana?"

"It's divorce papers.  Walter wants a divorce."  Her voice was flat,
emotionless, dead.

"You can't be serious."  Scully silently handed her the papers.  "Dana what
happened?"

"I can't talk about this Mom.  I just can't.  Please."  She made it to her
feet and headed for her room.  Mrs. Scully just stood there watching her,
too shocked to even move.

She gave her an hour, then she quietly let herself into Scully's room.
Scully lay with her back to the door, and for an instant her mother thought
she was asleep.  Then she realized Scully was staring at the wall,
completely unaware of her surroundings.

"Dana?  Dana, honey can you hear me?"

"Yes."  She didn't bother to turn.

"I don't know what happened and it's none of my business anyway, but you
are my business.  And as your mother, it's my job to look after you whether
you're four or forty.  This situation is killing you, I've never seen you
under this kind of stress, even when you were ill it was never like this.
Here's what we're going to do and I will not entertain any arguments from
you.  Bill's shipping out in two days.  He called and asked if I could come
and stay with Tara and Matthew while he was gone.  At the time I told him
no because I had you and Fox here.  I've changed my mind and you're coming
with me.  You need to get away, both of these men have decided to give you
space.  Maybe they're smarter than we're giving them credit for.  I'll pack
for you and we will leave tomorrow morning."

"Mom, I can't just leave town.  I have a job, responsibilities."

"You have a responsibility to yourself first Dana.  Look at you.  You're a
basket case and I can't let this continue.  Since you won't look after
yourself, I have taken over.  No arguments Dana.  We leave in the morning."



[End of part one]

Love and Lovers II


"Dana, I know you're a grown woman and you don't want me to interfere, but
I want you to get checked out.  You nearly passed out at the store today."

"Mom."

"Don't Mom me.  Tara gave me the name of her GP.  I want you to make an
appointment."

"If I get a quick checkup will you drop this?"

"Yes.  Dana, you've put yourself under so much stress it's inevitable you'd
become ill.  I just want to make sure that's all it is."

"Fine.  What's his name?"  Anything to end this argument.

*****

"Dr. Scully?  It's Dr. Sanders.  I have your test results and thought I'd
give you a call myself."

"Is there anything wrong?"

"No, not at all.  In fact I hope I'm calling with good news."

"You hope?"  She smiled, puzzled.

"Yes, it seems that you're pregnant."  She sat stunned, unable to speak.
"Dr. Scully?  Dana?  Are you still there?"

"There's. . . uh there's some sort of mistake.  I'm unable to. . . you've
gotten my tests confused with someone else."

"No.  I don't think so.  Listen, I'd be happy to run the tests again if
you'd like."

"I can be there in twenty minutes."

"That would be fine.  Just have my nurse let me know you're here."

She hung up without saying goodbye, already digging in her purse for her
keys.  Her mother came into the room as she headed for the door.

"Was that Dr. Sanders?"

"Uh, yes.  Look I have to run out for a few minutes."  As she all but ran
out the door.

"Dana!"

*****

"Obviously I don't have access to your medical records, but why are you so
certain that these tests are wrong?"

"I've been tested before and I had cancer a short while ago."

"I saw no evidence of cancer.  In fact your tests showed you to be in good
health."

"Could we run the tests again?"

"Of course.  Would you like to do them this time?"

"Yes, thank you.  I would."

She let the nurse draw the blood and set up the test, then while waiting
did a urine test.  Both tests came back positive.  She was still staring at
the results when Dr. Sanders joined her.

"If this is as bad news as it seems, I can give you the name of another
doctor. . . "

"No.  It's a shock.  I. . . uh, thank you for letting me run the tests
again."  She turned to leave.

"Are you okay to drive?"

"Yes.  Thank you."

"I know you're only here visiting, but if you'd like to make another
appointment. . . "

"I'll have to call.  I'm not sure when I'll be going home."

"Take care of yourself Dana.  If you need to talk, you can call me."

She nodded and tried to smile.  She gathered up her purse and left the
office.  She concentrated totally on driving on the way home, not allowing
her thoughts to stray from the task of getting home safely.

She sat in the driveway when she arrived, not wanting to come back to the
present.  Not daring to contemplate what her next step should be.  Finally
she released the seatbelt and stepped from the car.

She heard her mother speaking as she opened the door.  "I think I hear her
coming in now.  Just a second.  Dana?  Is that you?  You have a call."

"I'll get it in here Mom."  She picked up the phone in the living room.
"Hello?"

"Is this Dana Scully-Skinner?"

"Yes."

"I'm Jerry Pacer, your husband's attorney.  I'm sorry to have to contact
you directly.  You haven't responded to his petition for dissolution of
marriage and I don't have the name of your lawyer."

"I. . . I can't talk to you right now."

"Dr. Skinner, your husband is anxious to get this settled.  I'm sorry if
you're reluctant but I need to schedule a court date."

"I can't. . . I can't do this right now.  I will call you back."  She hung
up over his protests and stared at the phone.  She didn't hear her mother
come in and jumped when she touched her arm.

"Dana?  What's wrong?"

"If I get any other calls I need you to tell them I'm not here.  I'll be in
my room."

"Dana, talk to me."  Scully had gotten past her and headed for her bedroom.
 Scully sat on the side of the bed staring into space.  There was no
reaction when her mother came into the room.

"Dana, please.  You're scaring me."

"Mom, I can't talk right now.  I need some time."

"It's the cancer, isn't it?  It's come back."

"What?  No, Mom, no.  It's not the cancer."

"Dr. Sanders called you, you rushed out, you came back like this.  I know
something's wrong and I have to know what it is."

"Mom, I. . . "  She looked away and took a deep breath.  "Dr. Sanders
called to tell me I'm pregnant."

"Preg. . . "  Maggie had to swallow trying to find her voice.  "I thought.
. . "

"So did I."

"You've always wanted to be a mother."  She tried to smile at her daughter,
then suddenly her eyes widened.  "Oh Dana, whose baby is it?  Walter's or
Fox's?"

"Walter's!  Mulder and I never. . .  How could you. . . ?"

"Dana, I'm sorry!  I'm so sorry.  But if it's your husband's baby. . . "

"I don't know if I have a husband.  That other call was from Walter's
attorney, reminding me that I haven't answered the divorce petition.  And
how do I tell him anyway?  I mean, I'm in love with two men, neither of
whom want me anymore."

"Dana, you know that's not true.  As misguided as both of their actions
are, they're trying to give you space, what they think you need.  But now
everything's changed."

"Has it?  I'm still in love with both of them.  Even if they are giving me
space to make up my mind, I can't."

"Even if you're carrying your husband's child?"

"I can't process that right now.  I can't even think about it.  Mom, could
you leave me alone for a little while?  Please?"

"You're not going to do anything. . .?"

"No Mom.  I won't harm myself or. . . I'll be okay.  Mom, promise me that
you won't say anything to anyone about this.  Promise me!  Not even Bill or
Tara."

"I won't say anything, Dana.  I'll be here if you need anything."  Scully
nodded, her focus already far away.

She sat that way until Maggie once again tapped on the door and let herself
in.  "I brought you some dinner, Dana."

"I'm not hungry, Mom."

"That may be true, but you're not the only one eating."  Scully looked up
startled then let her eyes drop.  "You need to take care of yourself.  And
you need to find a way to relieve this stress - it's not good for either
one of you."

"I know."  She said quietly.

*****

"Walter?  It's Maggie Scully.  I'm sorry to bother you . . . "

"Maggie?  You're not bothering me.  Is everything okay?"

"No, it's not.  I hate to come across like an interfering mother-in-law,
but I need to ask you to call off your attorney."

"My attorney?"  He was clearly puzzled at the course this conversation was
taking.

"Yes.  Mr. Pacer has called here several times trying to get Dana to
respond to your divorce petition.  I realize you may be anxious to have
this behind you - "

"No Maggie.  I thought she would be."

"Well, whatever, that's between the two of you.  But she can't take anymore
right now.  She's not well and - "

"What's wrong?"  He broke in immediately.

"She hasn't been feeling her best and his continued, well harassment, is
not helping."

"Mr. Pacer will not be calling you again.  I had no idea he was in the
first place.  I appreciate you calling me Maggie.  Tell me what's wrong
with Dana."

"Walter, she'd be upset to know I called about this.  If you two aren't
communicating, I can't be the go-between."

She could hear the sigh clearly, "I was trying to give her what she wanted.
 I thought she needed time or at least my absence from the situation.  I
would never abandon her."

"I know that Walter.  It's an impossible situation for everyone."

"Is Mulder out there?"  He hated asking that, but he couldn't stand not
knowing another second.

"No.  He hasn't been here Walter.  I thought you knew that.  She and I came
out here alone, to visit Bill."

"When are you coming home?"  His voice dropped on that last word.  Maggie
could visualize him at this desk, looking so strong but. . . 

"I don't know.  She's not up to the trip right now.  Are you doing okay?"

"No.  I miss her Maggie.  How big a mistake did I make, letting her go?"

"I'm sorry, Walter.  That's between you and Dana.  Thank you for taking
care of Mr. Pacer.  I'll try to let you know when we're coming in.  Take
care of yourself."  She hung up, knowing that she'd had to stop the phone
calls, but wondering if she'd done the right thing.  It didn't matter, Dana
couldn't take much more.  She was her mother and she would protect her to
the best of her abilities.

*****

Scully was just starting up the stairs when the doorbell rang.  "I'll get
it Tara."  She called out and turned back.  She opened the door and stood
there speechless.

"Dana.  May I come in?"

"Wal. . . Walter?"

She didn't look herself.  She'd lost weight, at least in her face, and she
was pale.  She definitely didn't look like she'd been on vacation in
Southern California.  When she still didn't respond to his question, he
stepped around her and took her arm.

"I didn't think I'd surprise you so.  I just wanted you to know I found out
that Jerry had been bothering you.  I've fired him.  If we decide to get
divorced, we'll handle it then.  No one should have been pushing you for
anything and I'm sorry."

"If?  I thought it was what you wanted."

"And I thought it was what you wanted.  Maybe a little communication would
be in order.  First though, are you okay?  You look a little pale."

"I'm fine."  She looked away, not meeting his eyes any longer.

"No you're not.  I know you better than that.  What is it?  Talk to me."

"I can't.  Just don't worry about me."  

"That's not possible Dana.  Why don't we go for a ride, get you out of the
house for a little while?"  

He was being kind and she owed him this.  He'd been there for her when she
had fallen apart at Mulder's death.  None of this was his fault, he had
been nothing but wonderful to her.  She nodded and rose from the couch.
"Let me leave Mom a note."

They drove around in silence for awhile.  She sat with her head back, her
eyes closed.  He couldn't keep from looking over at her.  He loved this
woman.  He wanted desperately to fight for her, but would it drive her
farther away?

"Dana?"

She opened her eyes and sat up.  "Why don't you pull in over there.  We do
need to talk."

"Okay."  His voice sounded a lot steadier than he felt.  He pulled into the
far corner of the parking lot at some restaurant he'd never heard of.  "Do
you want something to eat?"

"No. Please, let's just sit here."

He nodded, steeling himself for the worst.

"Walter, there's a complication.  Something I, something none of us could
have foreseen.  I don't know how you're going to feel about it."

"Go on."  His hand twitched to touch her, but he held himself back.

"Walter, I'm pregnant."  He went very still, hearing the words echo in his
head.  But she couldn't, at least that's what she had thought.  Did that
mean she hadn't worried about. . . 

"Walter?  Are you okay?"

So he couldn't hide his feelings as well as she could.  This news, this was
unbelievable.  "Can I . . . can I ask you whose it is?"

She looked at him steadily, "It's yours.  There's no other possibility."

No other. . . she hadn't slept with Mulder?  But that meant. . .  She
watched all of this flit across his face, a smile beginning to tug at her
mouth.

"My baby.  You're carrying my baby."

"Yes Walter.  Are you okay?"  

"Am I. . . ?  Dana are you okay?"

"It's been different.  I'm glad to know what was causing the symptoms."

"When?  I mean, how far along. . . ?"  He glanced down at her abdomen.
There was no sign. . .

"Your homecoming party from Toronto."

"I want you to come home Dana.  Come home with me.  I want to look after
you now.  We can make whatever decisions have to be made later.  I need you
to come home with me.  Can you travel?"

"Walter how can I do that?  How can I ask you to let me live with you after
what I've put you through, what I'm still putting you through."

"I'm not asking to pick up where we left off.  I just want you home.  After
the baby's born we can make other arrangements.  You'd be more comfortable
there anyway, with Linda as your doctor."

He remembered her doctor's name?  She felt tears forming in her eyes.

"Dana, I'm not trying to make this worse.  Please believe that."

"That's not it.  I'm very emotional right now."  She reached out her hand
to him and he took it gratefully.

"Will you let me take you home?"

"I want to come home, but Mom can't leave now.  Bill won't be back for a
couple of weeks and Tara needs her."

"I want you to stay at the apartment."  He saw her tense up immediately.
"No, Dana.  Just allow me to look after you now.  I want to do this.  I'm
not pressuring you about the marriage, honestly."

She relaxed again.  "If I go, I have to tell Mulder about the baby
immediately."  He nodded, he'd expected no less.

"Do you feel well enough to make the trip?"

"That depends on how early in the morning we leave."  She smiled at him,
"But the answer is yes.  I'm fine physically."

"It will be good to have you closer."


Maggie raised no real protests other than the normal admonitions to look
after herself and call when she got there.  However she took Walter aside
while Dana was packing.

"Walter, it's the stress I'm concerned about.  She's literally torn between
you two and she can't handle any more pressure.  That's not good for her or
the baby.  I'm counting on you to keep an eye on her."

He nodded solemnly and took Maggie's hand.  "I can't love her less than I
do, but I promise not to push.  I don't want anything to happen to either
of them."

Maggie nodded.

*****

Walter booked them on a plane that departed around 11 a.m.  He'd personally
never left that late intentionally on a flight and was amused at the
difference in passengers.  His flights were normally full of executive
business types on their way in a hurry.  This flight had older women
traveling alone, families with young children.  A friendly chaos, without
the cutthroat atmosphere.  People actually helped other people and let
others cut in front of them.  There was even conversation in the waiting
area.  Scully smiled at his obvious gawking.

"Unfamiliar, huh?"  Scully watched him observing the show.

"Completely.  Are these flights always like this?"  He was actually
grateful for the slower pace, for her sake especially.

"Often, and flying into some of the puddle stops Mulder and I have. . ."
She stopped, uncertain.

"You're not afraid to mention Mulder to me, are you?"

"Maybe, a little."

"Don't be, Dana.  He's part of us, maybe not my favorite part of this
particular triangle, but important to the whole."  She gave him a grateful
smile.

Leaving at 11 in the morning might have advantages, but as the day wore on
and he realized how late 9:30 at night was going to be for her he began to
regret his promise that they would see Mulder when they landed.

When they landed in Cincinnati to change planes he brought it up, but she
cut him off in mid-sentence.  "I'm going to Mulder's apartment tonight.  If
you want to come with me I'll be glad to have your company.  If you'd
rather go back to the apartment and wait for me, that's fine too."

"You're not going to see him alone."

She looked at him sharply.  "You're not afraid he'd hurt me?"

"He hurt you the night he found out we were married."

"Walter, he grabbed my arms.  He didn't hurt me, he wouldn't.  If that's
why you want to come with me, forget it.  I'll be fine."

He dropped it, but she would not be going alone.  It wasn't in a part of
town he especially wanted her to be in during the day.  Now, and at night,
no way.

*****

"Who is it?"

"Scully.  Can we come in?"  That was followed by a long silence.  So long
that Walter was ready to take her arm and lead her away when they finally
heard the door opening.

"You need a body guard to talk to me now Scully?"  He looked up at her.

She was immediately struck by the fact that he was still in the wheelchair.
 He'd been able to walk, at least a few steps when she left.  Not now, and
he'd lost some of the weight he had gained back rather than gaining more.
She felt guilt suffuse every cell in her body.

Walter first noticed that they both looked worse than when the three of
them had last been together.  For a fanciful moment he actually thought
they were dying from lack of each other.  That sent a chill through his
body before he was able to shake it off.

Mulder only saw her, he was aware that Skinner stood beside her and that
she had probably come to deliver the deathblow, but she was here and for a
moment at least he could savor that.

"The three of us need to talk.  May we come in?"  He didn't respond, but
rolled back out of the way, allowing them entry.

There wasn't a lot of furniture, a couple of mismatched chairs.  His
leather couch was gone from when she had cleaned out his apartment.  She
hadn't been able to keep it.   At the time, it had been too painful, now
she regretted that for him.  The table was piled with newspapers and take
out cartons.  No dishes in the sink that was at handicap level, apparently
he didn't bother to rinse off the plastic utensils that obviously came with
his meals.  This was not a place he should be and she filed that away as
one of her first items of business, if he would let her back into his life.

Unable to bear the silence and wanting to get this whole thing over with,
Mulder finally pulled his chair up closer to when she had seated herself.
"You two didn't have to cut your honeymoon short to come see me."

"Mulder - " Skinner started but Scully cut him off.

"Until yesterday, I had not seen either one of you for nearly two months.
I went to California with Mom since neither of you wanted to be around me.
I don't blame you," she raised her hand to stop the comments from both of
them, "but now things are different and I need to be in Washington.  I
can't prove that Mom called Walter to have him help talk me into coming
back, but that's what happened.  Don't look so surprised Walter, the Bureau
didn't recruit me because I was stupid.  And the reason she didn't call
you, Mulder, is that you've made yourself extremely hard to locate lately.
She didn't have Walter's resources at her disposal."

The two men exchanged glances.  She'd once again proven she was better than
either of them and wasn't even breathing hard.

"Okay, so what do the three of us need to discuss?"  Mulder wanted to get
this over with so he could be alone with his pain.

Scully swallowed, not looking away from him and he realized for the first
time that she was more than a little frightened.  Did she think he'd lose
it and attack her, was that why Skinner was here?  Or did she think he'd
try to off himself.  He hadn't yet, though the thought had crossed his mind
on more than one occasion.  Now that he'd quit his physical therapy in fact
it had crossed his mind even more often.

She took a deep breath.  "Mulder, I'm pregnant."  She watched the color
leave his face as the words began to sink in.  Before he could speak she
leaned forward and put out her hand, though she did not touch him.  "I want
it Mulder.  It's probably my only chance."

"I know."  He whispered.  The thoughts racing through his mind didn't even
make a coherent collage and he wondered briefly if he was experiencing a
stroke.

"Mulder?"  She was still leaning toward him, still reaching for him, hadn't
several days passed since her words?  It was up to him now, he realized.
He had the power to hurt her irrevocably with his next words, then offing
himself would be the only option.  He managed to draw a breath.

"Well, since it's not going to look like me, I hope to hell it looks like
you."  He could see the tension leave her shoulders and the light come back
into her eyes.  He hadn't realized it was missing until he saw it return,
now she looked like Scully again.  His Scully, no matter what the reality was.

He became aware of Skinner again and realized there was a slight smile on
his face as well.  He no longer looked like a hit man, waiting for his shot.

"So what do we do now?"  Mulder asked them both.

"Now I take Dana to the apartment and let her get some rest.  It's been a
long day and whether she'll admit it or not, she's exhausted."  Skinner
spoke first.

"Your apartment?"  Mulder said it quietly, it wasn't really a question.

"Yes.  Want to come share the guest room with me Mulder?"  Skinner shot
back, giving him the information he wanted even though it hurt like hell to
do it.

"Walter, Mulder, please."  Now they could both see her exhaustion.  She'd
done what she felt she had to tonight.  Walter was right, if she didn't get
home soon she wasn't going to make it.  She wondered abstractedly if she'd
be less tired if she'd walked from California.

Without another word, Skinner lifted her to her feet and realized he was
half supporting her.  Mulder saw it at the same time.  "Get her home and
call me Skinner.  We'll talk tomorrow."

Skinner nodded already walking her to the door.  He was confident she was
asleep before he buckled her into the seat.  Maggie would have his hide if
she ever found out about this.  He should have stuck to his own beliefs and
done this tomorrow.  She didn't wake when he parked the car, so he gently
carried her to the apartment and put her to bed.  She barely moved, even
when he undressed her, only snuggling into the pillow for a deeper rest.

He did phone Mulder after she was safely tucked in bed.  He owed him that,
he knew that Mulder had diffused a volatile situation with his sardonic
quip and he was immensely grateful.  Scully had relaxed after that, hell,
she'd barely kept her eyes open to leave the apartment.  He was in a
marriage of three; he might as well face it.  And he was going to be a
father with the woman he loved, Mulder would never be able to take that
from him.

He let himself into the guestroom and slept the best sleep he had had in
months.

Scully slept late the next morning and was very surprised to find Mulder
having a cup of coffee with Walter when she finally wandered into the
kitchen.  She reached for a cup and Skinner handed her a glass of juice.

"Haven't had time to go buy decaf yet.  Have the juice instead."

"I beg your pardon?"  She held the glass and just stared at Walter.

"Aren't you suppose to cut out caffeine?"

"Oh god."  She sank into the chair across from Walter.  She glanced from
one to the other.  She had obviously missed an important meeting here.
"Listen guys.  I need my caffeine before I go to work and - "

"That's another thing."  Her eyes widened, what the hell had gone on here?

"Yessss."  She drew it out and Mulder had to look away, he'd warned Skinner
this wouldn't go over well.

"We think you should see Linda before you decide on a work schedule."

"Oh we do.  And when did we decide this?"  If her eyebrow went any higher
Mulder was afraid it would disappear into her hair completely.  This was
almost amusing, Skinner thinking he could direct Scully at home like he
tried to at the Bureau.  They might be married, but he had a hell of a lot
to learn about her.

"And wipe that grin off your face Mulder."  She turned to him then and he
turned his totally innocent look to her.  She snorted and turned back to
Walter.  "First thing we need to get straight here is that I am not sick.
I do plan to make an appointment with Linda at my first opportunity, but I
plan to work and function and - "

"You have an appointment with her at 2:30 this afternoon."  Walter
volunteered.  Mulder managed to curb his impulse to wheel away from the
table and duck.

Scully glanced over at Mulder again.  He was enjoying this way too much,
but his amusement was keeping her temper from exploding.  As well as
knowing Walter was trying, and failing, to handle this without angering her.

She took a deep breath.  "We need to back up a little here.  What went on
out here while I was asleep?  Details.  Because if you think I'm going to
just sit around here and do nothing for the next seven months, I can head
back for California."

"Scully, calm down.  Skinner invited me over to discuss some things.  We
didn't mean to step on your toes."  She didn't look like she believed him,
but she let him continue.  "I'm going to start back on the physical therapy
- "

"About time.  I will be coming over to work with you on that after work, no
more backsliding."

"Not to my apartment.  That's another thing we discussed."

"Dana, that's not a place I want you going.  It's not a good neighborhood
and for people to see you coming in and out every day, especially later. .
. "  Skinner's voice trailed off at the look on her face.

"So anyway," Mulder broke in, "could you help me find a new apartment,
maybe closer to here, if I can afford it?  Maybe I could even furnish it or
something. . ." His voice trailed off as well and they all sat just looking
at each other for a long moment.

"Well?  What other decisions regarding me did we make?"

"Dana, please, this is a new situation for all of us.  We're not trying to
control you, well okay, maybe a little."  He conceded as the eyebrow
started its assent again, "But it's because we care.  Look at you, you've
lost weight, not gained, you're obviously not feeling your best.  Were you
okay this morning?"

She looked at him, surprised.  "I was.  Maybe I slept through it.  Maybe
I'm just glad to be home.  It doesn't matter, I'm the only one in this room
with an MD, I will not turn control of myself over to either one of you and
you better realize that right now."

They both nodded, chastened.  "I will see Linda today, since the
appointment has been made.  I don't even want to know what you said to get
an appointment this quickly.  And I will follow her advice, you both know
what this means to me.  But there will be no more policy meetings without
me.  Do you understand?"  Again they nodded, relieved that the lecture
seemed to be over.

*****

"Linda?  What is it?  What's wrong?"  Scully was watching her friend
closely, eyes narrowed, trying to take in her body language as well as her
facial expression.

"Did I say anything was wrong?"

"Then talk to me."  Dana was growing more uncomfortable by the second.

"Can't I be surprised?  We've known each other for years, Dana, but I never
thought I'd be treating you for this particular condition.  I know your
medical history and background."

"So?  What aren't you saying?  Is the baby alright?"

Linda stood from where she had been leaning on the desk and returned to her
seat, opening the file.  "You've lost weight and you're slightly anemic.  I
assume that's because of the morning sickness.  It's been bad, hasn't it."

She waited for Scully's grudging nod.  "And I don't mean to frighten you,
but your blood pressure is ever so slightly elevated.  I might not even
mention it to a lay person, but you're a doctor and you need to know.  You
might as well realize I'm planning to treat this as a high-risk pregnancy."

"So there's more.  What?"

"No, that's all I know at this point.  You can read your file if you want.
I do want to do an ultra-sound, make sure everything's where it belongs."

"I'll schedule it."

"Let's do it now.  You're here, I'm here, why wait?"  She stood again as
Scully paled slightly.  She rounded the desk and sat beside her friend.

"I get to see you on the day Walter calls for an appointment, now you're
going to do an ultra-sound yourself?  Linda. . . "

"I want this to happen for you Dana.  Those guys in the waiting room want
it too.  Both of them.  You're getting my ultra-conservative care.  And
you're the only patient I've got with your particular history.  Oh, about
work. . . "

Scully's eyes narrowed, had 'those guys' already talked to her.  "Wipe that
look off your face, Dana.  You haven't been working for the last couple of
months, I want to continue that until your energy returns and you're in
your second trimester.  Then we can talk about a modified schedule."

"Modified?"  This was worse than she had expected, worse than the two of
them expected she imagined.

"Modified.  No red-eye flights to Kalamazoo, no chasing bad guys down
alleys, if possible no alien abductions."  She smiled slightly at that one;
she'd known Dana since before Mulder had turned her life upside down.

Scully finally relaxed, that kind of modification.  Okay, she hadn't really
planned to go back to work that way until after the baby was born.
Quantico and teaching, surely that wouldn't threaten anything.  Linda
watched the tension leave her shoulders and nodded to herself.  This was a
tenuous pregnancy and she needed to convey that without frightening her.
Shit, the woman supposedly had no ova, had survived cancer, had that thing
in her neck and was torn between two men.  Yippee.

"Why don't we go see what we can see?"   Linda stood and took Dana's hand.

"Nice strong heartbeat, plenty of amniotic fluid, good position of the
placenta.  I like it Dana."  Linda continued to slide the instrument over
her abdomen.

Scully closed her eyes for a moment in relief, but couldn't leave them
closed.  That was her baby she was watching.  This wasn't her field of
expertise but she knew enough to know those were very healthy signs.

"Do you want anyone else to come in and see this?"  Linda looked up at her.

"Both of them."

"Okay, whatever you say."  She stepped to the door and had her nurse go for
the two men waiting anxiously in her outer office.

Both men seemed to be struck dumb by the rapid heartbeat that was plainly
visible on the screen.  Linda pointed out the head and torso to them.
"It's too soon to tell the sex, but we'll do other ultra-sounds so if you
want to know, maybe we can find out later."  Now Scully was watching the
men instead of the screen.  Mulder was slightly uncomfortable, though no
one but she would be able to see it.  Walter was totally mesmerized by the
sight.

When she left to get dressed Linda cornered the two of them and herded them
into her office.  "Here's the deal guys.  I don't know which of you is the
father and I don't personally care.  I consider this pregnancy tenuous.
There will be no stress induced by you two.  Don't think I would hesitate
to castrate both of you if you cause her grief."

Walter stared at her, Mulder had had run-ins with Linda before and took her
at her word.  They both nodded solemnly.

They developed a routine.  During the day she worked with Mulder, pushing
him to exercise.  She wanted him strong, walking, himself again.  The
apartment they found was closer and even Walter couldn't object to the
neighborhood.  He ate well and forced her to do the same, so both gained
the weight their doctors pressed for.  He was using the walker within a
couple of weeks.

In the evenings she was with Walter, back to the easy style they had
developed while living together.  There was little change except for
separate rooms.  Walter had Mulder begin work again as a consultant.  He
wasn't yet able to handle fieldwork and since she couldn't go with him, he
had no real desire to travel yet anyway.

They all celebrated when he was able to move to the cane and give up the
walker.  They all three now worked mornings, with Mulder and Scully doing
their physical therapy in the afternoons.

They found a track near his apartment and began walking it.  He practiced
without the cane and eventually became able to do the entire circuit
without it.  She was so excited by that achievement she threw her arms
around him and hugged him.  He was caught off guard for a second, then
found his arms around her, holding her close.  Never letting go entered his
mind and then he felt the child stir against him.

He reluctantly released her.  "Are we ever going to be together Scully?"

"We are together Mulder.  Don't doubt that." 

*****

She was dragging and he finally commented on it.  "I'm suppose to be the
one learning to walk again Scully.  If you can't waddle any faster than
that I'll have to get a new walking companion."

"I am not waddling."  She shot back at him.

"Are you okay?"  Now that he was looking at her, she seemed a little strained.

"My back's bothering me a little."

If she was admitting it, she must be in real pain.  Without another word he
took her arm and led her to the bleachers surrounding the track.  "That's
enough for today then.  You should have said something.  I'll go get the car."

"Mulder."  She frowned at him, exasperated.  This was why she hadn't
mentioned her back early.

"You wanna fight?  Then wait here."  He was walking well now and was
exercising even when she wasn't around.  He was ready to be normal again
and never look at that damn wheelchair again as long as he lived.

She was very quiet on the ride home, too quiet for him.  He walked her
inside, "Look, why don't I wait here for Walter?  I don't have any plans
this afternoon."

"I am fine, Mulder.  I'll take a nap, go home."

"Will you call me later?"  He was reluctant to leave, but he couldn't put a
finger on why.  She was probably just tired but he would be calling here to
check on her, no way he'd wait for her to call.

That's exactly what he did when he thought Walter should be home, calling
on Walter's cell phone, just in case she was still asleep.

"Skinner."

"It's me.  Is she okay?"

"Mulder?  I just walked in.  Why?  What was wrong?"

"She just wasn't herself this afternoon.  Of course she didn't want me to
stay, but . . . "

Walter glanced over at the bedroom door.  It was shut.  "She's probably
asleep.  Hold on."  He put his briefcase on the desk and headed that way.
He cracked open the door and looked inside.  "Dana!  Oh god, Dana!"

"What!"  Mulder's grip on the phone sent his knuckles white immediately.
"Skinner!  What?"

"I'm hanging up Mulder, I'm calling 911."

"What hospital!"

"Georgetown."

"I'll meet you there."  The phone went dead.  What the hell was going on?
He knew he shouldn't have left her, but he allowed her to brush his
concerns away.  Damn, what was happening?

He beat them to the hospital and had them locate Linda.  He didn't know
what was going on, but he felt better knowing she was around.  She met him
in the ER just as the ambulance pulled up and together they met the gurney.
 Walter ran in right behind them, having followed the ambulance from the
apartment.

She was in obvious pain but when Mulder took her hand the lines in face
eased and she seemed to breathe a little easier.  Linda made a mental note
of it but said nothing.  She didn't know if Walter had seen what his
presence did for her or not.  It didn't matter now anyway.

"Out of the way Fox.  I'll talk to both of you later."  And she disappeared
into an examining room with her.

They both stood staring at the door until Walter finally pulled himself
together.  "Okay, what happened this afternoon?"

Mulder looked over at him as though he didn't recognize him, then shook
himself and headed for the waiting room.  "Nothing, not really.  We were
walking like we always do and I mentioned she was dragging.  She finally
admitted her back was bothering her so I made her quit right then.  I got
the car and brought her home.  I offered to stay until you got there, but
she said she was just going to nap and to go on.  I didn't call because I
didn't want to wake her.  That's why I waited for you.  God, I should never
have left her. . .  What happened?"

"I don't know.  She was obviously in a lot of pain.  She was. . . she was
calling out for both of us."  He couldn't bring himself to mention that
she'd moaned Mulder's name nearly twice as much as she'd called for him.  

They sank into silence, barely aware of the other's presence, thinking
their own thoughts.  Time slowed to a crawl, but Mulder was on his feet
first when Linda finally emerged from the room.

"We're moving her upstairs.  She's in pre-term labor and we're going to do
everything we can to stop it.  I'll let you see in her a little while."

"What happens if you can't stop it?"  Walter asked it quietly, his fear
evident.

Linda shook her head.  "Infants can survive at 24 weeks, but. . .  Just
hold a good thought."  She moved to return to her patient.

"What caused this?"  Mulder had thought she'd offer an explanation but she
was just walking off.

"Nothing, anything.  You know what her body's been subjected to over the
past few years as well as I do.  It's why I've been so conservative in my
treatment.  The ultrasound looks good, he's just awfully small and I want
to keep him where he is as long as I can." She turned again, then stopped.
"It's not you guys.  We've talked, she's not been under stress from. . .
from the situation.  Don't sit here feeling guilty.  Believe me, if there
was a reason, I'd let you know."

Mulder nodded, Walter was staring into the distance.  It was at least
another hour before they were allowed in to see her.  She was still pale,
but not like she had been when she'd arrived here.  She was still on an IV
but the oxygen was gone.  It was the fetal monitor that held Walter's
attention.

"You'd do anything for attention, wouldn't you?"  Mulder took her hand and
kissed it.

"There's no excitement just hanging around DC.  I'm used to solving weird
cases, remember?"  She gave him a tired smile.

"How are you feeling?"  Walter was at her other side now, closest to the
monitor.

"Better.  The contractions have almost stopped."

Walter nodded, not sure what to say.  Fortunately he was saved from any
comment by Linda's arrival.

"These guys bothering you?"  She winked at Scully.

"They're not too bad.  Well?"  She watched Linda check the monitor.

"Looking better.  I'm going to put you on steroids just in case."  Scully
nodded.

"What does that do?"  Walter had hold of her other hand now.

"Helps the baby's lungs mature.  Don't worry, Walter.  She's in good hands.
 She's also going to be on complete bed rest for the next few weeks."  She
looked over at Scully to see if there was any argument from that quarter.
There was none and Linda gave her a bigger smile.  "I like it when you
don't try to second guess me.  You know I did rank above you in medical
school."

"Half a point."  Scully snorted.

"Half a point is half a point.  I'm going to throw everybody out now.  You
need the rest and they look like they could use some too.  Go home.  I'll
call you if I need you."

Linda had to actually herd them from the room; neither was willing to leave
her side.  Linda wasn't more than an inch or two taller than Scully, though
quite a bit stockier but when she wanted to move people, they moved.  "I
want you both out of here.  Go home, go eat.  If you stay you'll keep her
awake and she'll pick up on how worried you are.  She doesn't need to spend
her energy reassuring you.  Go."

She was released after a couple of days, and sent home for complete bed
rest.  Again the schedules changed and Mulder took over the care of her
during the day.  He could still do his consulting by computer from her
apartment.  Adjustments were made with a minimum of stress on her, always
Mulder's and Skinner's first thought.

The use of the bedpan was a major sticking point until Mulder pointed out,
quite correctly, that she had done the same for him and she might as well
shut up about it.  So after a few remarks regarding picnic attachments, the
issue regained its proper perspective.

He still continued his exercises, now in her bedroom under her watchful eye
and even allowed her input on some of the cases he was consulting on though
he pretended to do so grudgingly.

Mrs. Scully flew in from California, where she had remained as Bill's tour
was extended and extended, as soon as she was informed of the problem.  She
held herself back as much as possible, allowing these three to work things
out together.  Besides, as much as Fox tried to hide it, he wanted the time
alone with Dana during the day.  She was in the way.

Mulder was probably in the best shape he'd ever been in, at least since he
swam in high school.  He'd progressed from exercising to working out, even
keeping some exercise equipment in her bedroom now.  She was up and walking
a little now, on modified bed rest and that had encouraged him as much as
anything to build up his muscles.  He wanted to be perfectly capable of
doing anything she needed done.

Mulder realized it was getting harder to leave each evening, when it was
time for Skinner to arrive and take his place.  Unfortunately the reality
was that Mulder was taking Skinner's place during the day.  He almost never
accepted the invitation to dinner that was occasionally made.  

Skinner was aware of this conflict within Mulder but made no comment.  He
could feel the two of them growing closer, depending on each other as they
always had.  He kept quiet; nothing would be gained by mentioning it, other
than stress for her.  The pregnancy was progressing and she was in much
better spirits.  That's what was important, this other wasn't exactly new
anyway.

*****

Mulder headed for the door, he didn't have anywhere he wanted to be, but it
was Walter's time with her.  They were friendly, hell he'd never spent so
much time with Walter Skinner and he did like the man, more than he'd
thought possible at one time.  But he never forgot he was married to her.
Shit!  He wasn't about the upset the status quo now.  Linda had finally let
her be on her feet when she wanted as long as she didn't overdo, and he
wasn't going to do anything to cause her grief.

He had his hand on the doorknob when he heard her.  "Wait."  He turned back
and spotted her clinging to the bedroom door.  Her gown was soaked.  Walter
froze for a second but Mulder was moving.  He was at her side in two steps,
but she was already doubled over.

"Where's your car?"  Mulder had her in his arms.  Walter was moving now.
He had the door open and the elevator summoned.

Mulder laid her in the backseat and Skinner was already putting the car in
gear.  They weren't about to wait for any ambulance this time.  He could
hear her in the backseat, Mulder murmuring to her.  Well, that was good.
Mulder was better with her when she was in pain.  It was still too early,
thirty weeks, but the baby had a better shot than he had earlier.

He was making good time; rush hour was over for all intents and purposes.
Everything would be okay, it had to be.  This was his son, the only child
he'd ever have.  No, don't think about anything but traffic.

"Oh shit.  Hurry, Walter.  Damn it hurry!"

"What?  Mulder what's happening?"  He received no response and didn't dare
take his eyes off the road at this speed.  What was that noise?  A high
pitched - oh god!  The baby?  "Dana!"  He did turn slightly then and saw
Mulder stripping off his t-shirt.

"Turn the heat on, all the way!"

He complied then jerked the cell phone from his pocket.  "Is this an
emergency?"  The ultra calm voice of the 911 operator was in his ear.

"My wife just gave birth in the car.  I need you to contact Georgetown,
tell them our ETA is 10 minutes, less if I can do it.  And find Dr. Linda
Carruthers."

"Is the baby breathing?"  She was alert now, but still maintaining calm.
Hell, she wasn't here in the car with them.  She'd be shaken then.

"He was, Mulder, is the baby breathing?"

"Yeah."  He was too busy for conversation, let Skinner talk to them.

"I'm contacting the hospital now, sir.  Stay on the line."

The rest of the trip was blur to him.  His son had been born and he wasn't
sure he or Dana would live.  He slowed down only to turn into the emergency
entrance.  Skinner spotted Linda pacing on the emergency dock, a gurney
already waiting.  She's the one that jerked the door of the car open.

"Did you cut the cord?"

"No, but the placenta's been delivered."

"Okay, hold him."  She was prepared and swiftly clamped and cut the cord.
"Where's that neonatal unit!"  She handed the infant out of the car,
wrapped in Mulder's t-shirt.

"She was seizing."  Mulder was pale as a ghost.  Linda made no comment,
examining her friend and patient rapidly.

"Let's get her inside!  Come on."  Linda shoved Mulder out of the car and
climbed out herself to allow the emergency room personnel access to her.


When Linda emerged from the examining room both men were waiting.  Mulder
had been lent a set of scrubs, but neither man looked like he had moved,
could move.  "She's going to be okay guys.  She's suffering a little
post-traumatic stress.  Women aren't meant to give birth quite like that."

Mulder shuddered slightly.  "The baby?"  Skinner asked.

"I'll check on him now.  He was doing okay when you got him here.  Try to
relax."

"Can we see her?"  Mulder wasn't convinced Linda had been totally honest,
he desperately needed to see her.

"After they move her to a room.  She's out now anyway and needs the rest.
Come on, let's check on the baby."  They stood at the window while Linda
went in to check on the status of the infant.  She was back shortly.
"Three pounds one ounce.  He's breathing on his own, but they're
supplementing oxygen.  He looks pretty good.  You can go in one at a time."

"I've already met him, you go on."  Mulder spoke dryly.  Linda smiled
slightly, the most either of them had ever seen when Scully wasn't present,
and led Skinner into the nursery.

When she returned she touched Mulder's arm and headed toward the patients'
rooms.  "Oh Fox, just for your information women quite often shake like
that after giving birth.  She wasn't seizing - file that away for your next
delivery."

"Yeah, right.  Let me see her.  Please!"  She looked up at him.  He needed
this, as much as Walter needed to see the baby.

"Come on."  She said grudgingly.  "Wake her and you die."  He nodded.

She was in her room now, hooked up to an IV and oxygen.  Mulder sank into
the chair beside her.  They'd have to drag him out.

He sat there for quite a while, trying his best not to remember what had
transpired in that car and usually failing.  When she finally stirred he
was on his feet, holding her hand.

"Mulder?"  She hadn't opened her eyes.

"Right here.  Are you okay?"

"The baby?  Is he. . . ?"

"He's doing fine, three pounds one ounce according to Linda.  He's
breathing on his own and they're giving him oxygen to help out.  Walter's
with him now."

She nodded and tightened her grip on his hand.  "Thank God you were there."
 He didn't say anything, just leaned over and kissed her forehead.  That's
when he realized tears were escaping from her eyes.

"Are you okay?  Do you need. . . "

She shook her head and took a deep breath.  "I have everything I need."

"Go back to sleep.  I'll be here."

He was there when she woke again, but asleep in the chair.  Walter was
beside her this time.  "Mulder?"

"No, Dana, its Walter.  He's asleep.  Do you need anything?"

"Walter.  Is the baby okay? I need to see him."

"I know.  He's doing great.  You make beautiful babies Dana.  He's too
little to come to you, so you're going to have to wait until morning.
Linda said after she checked you, she'd probably let you go to the
nursery."  He wanted to kiss her, hold her, but held himself back.  "Do you
need anything?"

She shook her head; there was nothing she could do about anything right
now, so she might as well not push it.

"Dana?"  She looked up at him, he sounded so serious.  "Thank you, thank
you for my son.  I would never have put you through that if I'd known, but.
. . "

"Our son.  I'm just glad he's here.  It's okay Walter."  What was wrong?
He wasn't himself.  "Walter, are you telling me the truth?  Is he okay?"

That startled him, "Yes, Dana.  I swear.  I was with him until they threw
me out.  I knew you wouldn't be alone."

Oh.  That was bothering him?  Of course it was, he was her husband.  She'd
been pretty good about pushing that away during the pregnancy.  Now it was
going to be an issue again.

As though he had read her mind he caressed her cheek.  "Don't worry about
anything now Dana.  Just get your strength back, you and the baby are all
that matters."  That brought tears to her eyes.  "Dana?"

"Hormones, don't mind me.  You should go home, get some rest."

He glanced over at Mulder asleep in the chair.  He wouldn't be leaving, not
as long as she might need him.   He felt her squeeze his hand.  "Will you
call me, if you need anything?"

"I promise.  Get some rest.  Don't worry about him, he never sleeps anyway.
 Walter. . . "

"Yes?"

"Nothing.  Be careful driving home."  He bent down and kissed her cheek and
slipped quietly from the room.

When Linda bustled in the next morning she found Scully already awake.  She
examined her and when Mulder still hadn't woken, walked over and kicked
him.  He came to his feet reaching for his gun.

"Some night nurse you'd make."  Linda snorted at him.  "Fortunately she's
okay, no thanks to you."

He glanced over at Scully fully contrite and she laughed at the look on his
face.  "If I had needed anything, you'd have known Mulder."  She turned
back to Linda.  "I have to see my baby."

Linda nodded.  "I know.  How about now?"

Scully closed her eyes for a moment in relief.

"I'll get a wheelchair."  Mulder took a step toward the door.

"She can walk it."  Mulder turned back, gaping at Linda.  "Close your mouth
Fox.  She's doing wonderfully and needs to be up, getting her strength back."

"You think she should walk to the nursery?"  Mulder just couldn't believe
her words.

"Mulder, she's right.  Come here and let me lean on you."  He moved to her
side with no hesitation.

"Scully. . . "

"I need to be on my feet.  I have a baby to look after."  He shut up then,
unconvinced, but he knew from that tone arguments would not be entertained.

He held her and made sure she was steady on her feet, but did not release
her and she did not pull away.  He waited until Linda stopped to speak to
the nurse before whispering to Scully, "This is insane Scully.  I was there
yesterday.  I saw exactly what you went through."  He barely suppressed the
shudder that memory invoked.  "You should not be on your feet."

"Thanks to you I can be.  Women go home sooner than this after a normal
birth."

"That was not 'normal'."

"Actually it was Mulder.  Fast and of course he was premature, but within
the parameters of normal.  Maybe not something I would plan," she smiled at
him, "but with you there. . . "

He shut up then and just enjoyed the feel of her against him.  At the
nursery they were handed the yellow paper gowns and led into the neo-natal
section.  Skinner was already there, holding his son.  Mulder settled
Scully into the rocking chair provided and watched as Skinner approached
and placed the tiny boy in her arms.  The gesture felt like a kick in the
gut.  They were examining their son, a child created by them.  He backed
away, drawing no attention to himself.  He had to get out of here, he
couldn't watch this.

"He's beautiful Dana."

"But so tiny.  I didn't realize how tiny."

"Dana, the steroids helped.  His lungs are working.  We just need to fatten
him up."

She turned to the pediatrician.  "When can he go home?"

"Five pounds.  With no complications two to three weeks.  He's really doing
quite well for his size."  She beamed at him and Walter.

"Mulder, look at what you. . . "  She turned to look for him and realized
he had slipped from the room.  "Walter. . . "

"I'll find him."  He headed for the door and spotted Mulder standing at the
window, looking toward the babies but not really seeing them.

"Dana wants you to come back."

"Walter, I. . . "

"She wants you."  Mulder closed his eyes and straightened his shoulders.

"Sure."  He donned another of the sterile gowns and proceeded Skinner back
to Scully.  She was watching him, but she couldn't read his expression.

"Want to hold him?"

"He's uh, he's awfully tiny Scully."

"No more than yesterday."  Their eyes locked and he moved forward,
reluctantly, to take him from her.

"Have you named him yet?"  He gazed down at the infant sleeping in his
arms.  He could pretend couldn't he?

"William Sergei Skinner."

"What?"  Now he looked up at Scully.  Sergei he understood, but William?

"My father was William, so was Walter's.  And, of course, this guy's
god-father."

Mulder looked over at Skinner, who nodded.  He looked back down at the boy,
the only truly safe place to look right now.

"We need to put him back in the unit now, Mrs. Skinner.  We don't want to
push him too hard."

"I know."  She reached up and touched the baby's face again, in Mulder's
arms, and watched as he surrendered him to the nurse.  "I think I'd like
that wheelchair going back."  Mulder nodded and left to find one.  Walter
knelt beside her.

"Are you okay Dana?"

"Except for the hormone overload, I think so."  She reached out and
squeezed his hand.  He was quiet, she really didn't seem to want to speak.
When Mulder returned with the chair Walter helped her to her feet and into
the wheelchair.  Mulder stepped back to allow Walter to guide her to the
room.  He shouldn't be here.  She didn't need him now; she was recovering
from the weeks in bed and the actual birth very nicely.  His job was really
done, all excuses to hover over her gone.  He felt the emptiness consume him.

At the door to her room he stopped them, "Listen, I need to head on home,
shower, change, you know.  If you need anything, just give me a call."

"Okay.  I'll talk to you later."  Scully watched him as he turned to walk
away, then realized Walter was watching her.  She looked up at him and smiled.

"Come on, let's you back in bed."  Walter pushed her on in the room and
assisted her into the bed.  She sighed and eased herself back against the
pillow.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine Walter.  Just a little more tired than I thought I would be from
that short a walk."

"You weren't exactly at the top of your game before you went into labor."

"True, I guess I should be glad it didn't go on for hours.  But a little
longer might have been nice."  Walter smiled at her and took her hand.

"You need to rest now.  I'll go by the office, but I've got my cell phone.
Please call me if you need anything."

She smiled at this wonderful man.  "I promise.  I'm going to rest until
they'll let me go back and visit Will again."

"Will."  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it.  "I can never thank
you enough for him."  Before she could respond he turned and headed for the
door.  There he stopped and looked back at her, shaking his finger at her.
"Rest.  That's an order.  I'll be back in a couple of hours."

She was in the nursery when he arrived, rocking and feeding the baby.  He
stopped just to watch her before she realized he was there.  He snapped a
quick picture and she looked up startled.  "Sorry.  I couldn't resist.  I
figured it was time we had pictures of him.  Your mother was already
freaking that she wasn't here."

"I know, I spoke with her a little while ago.  She's torn between leaving
Tara or leaving me.  I told her we were all fine and to relax.  Faxing a
couple of pictures would reassure her greatly.  Besides, Tara feels alone
out there and I'm surrounded by people to look after me.  You want to hold
him?"

His smile grew and he took the baby from her arms.  Only yesterday morning
he had worried if he would ever feel comfortable doing this, now it seemed
the most natural thing in the world.

"He gained an ounce.  They say he's feeding very well.  It's about the only
thing he wakes up for."

"Why isn't he all red like the other babies out front?"  Walter couldn't
tear his eyes away from him as he asked.

"Jaundice.  It's okay, they're watching it closely."  She responded to the
look of fear that took over his face.  He relaxed slightly, new fears he
had never considered before in his life were now part of his vocabulary.

She sat watching him with his son.  He was going to be an excellent father.
 So why was she worried about it?  Maybe she was suffering post-partum
already.  It had been a hell of a delivery.  She should be delighted at
this all-consuming interest his father was displaying in him, instead it
was giving her a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She'd have to
talk to Linda about this, it just wasn't her field.

She walked back to the room with Walter's help when the nurse took Will
from them.  They ate together but she was quiet and eventually Walter urged
her to once again rest.  He stood to leave when Linda tapped on the door
and entered.

"Dana, I've gotten all your test results back.  I'm throwing you out of
here tomorrow."

Walter took Dana's hand.  "Are you serious?"

"Yes.  She's doing great.  Her blood pressure's fine, the bleeding has
almost stopped.  And I imagine I'll be seeing you every day anyway when you
come to see the baby."  She smiled at Dana.  "No driving for at least a
week.  Think you can get a ride?"

"Yeah, I'm not worried about that."

"Okay, I'll check you one more time in the morning, then release you.  Get
a good night's sleep - let the nurses feed the kid tonight, okay?"

"No 2 a.m. feedings.  I promise, for now."

Linda nodded.  "Rest, I'll see you in the morning."

Once she was gone Walter turned back to Dana.  "I'll pick you up.  We'll
spend some time with Will and then I'll take you home."

She smiled and nodded.  He kissed her cheek and let himself out.  She was
surprised to find tears on her cheeks a few moments later.  She couldn't
get to sleep, but didn't realize she was waiting until she saw the hall
lights dim.  Then she finally admitted the cause of her pain.  Mulder
hadn't returned.

*****

"Hello?"

"Mulder."

He was silent for a moment.  "Are you okay?"

"No."

"What?  What is it?  Is the baby - " His voice was rapid, worried headed
for frightened.

"He's fine Mulder.  So am I, physically."  Another silence followed.  "I
thought. . . Mulder, I thought you'd come back this evening."

"You guys needed some time to bond.  You didn't need me hanging around."

"Mulder don't."

"Don't what Scully?  Give you time with your husband and son?"

"They're releasing me tomorrow."

He missed a beat there at the change in subject.  "You can't be serious."
Now he was sitting up on the couch, the first time he'd sat up since
collapsing there that afternoon.

"I'll be here every day anyway, so Linda's sending me home."

"Well, I'm sure she knows best."  He retreated from the conversation as he
had retreated physically earlier.

"Yeah, I guess she does.  Look, I'm sorry I disturbed you.  Good night
Mulder."

"Scully, damn it, Scully!"  But she'd broken the connection.  He dropped
the receiver back in the cradle and reclined again, his arm over his eyes.

*****

She was dressed when Walter arrived the next morning.  They headed
immediately to the nursery.  That's where Linda found them.  She walked
Scully back to her room, leaving Walter with the baby.

"What's wrong Dana?"

"Nothing.  I'm fine.  I hate leaving here without my son."

"I know that, but that's not it.  I do this for a living Dana, talk to me."

She shook her head.  "Thanks Linda.  Maybe in a few days."

*****

Once home Walter made her comfortable on the sofa.  She refused to lie down
again, arguing that she had to get used to being upright sometime.

"Comfortable?  Can I get you anything?"

"Don't fuss over me Walter.  I'm fine, it just feels strange not to be
pregnant and not to have a baby to look after."

"He'll be here before you know it.  You should rest all you can now."  She
smiled at him, then looked away afraid she would cry again.

"Dana, this isn't the right time, but I want to talk to you before he does
come home and I need to give you time to think."  She looked up at him
puzzled.  He was so solemn.

"Walter what's wrong?"  She reached out to take his hand and he grasped
hers.  He sat facing her, drawing the chair closer to the sofa.

"I hope you know how much I love you Dana.  This past year and a half has
probably been the best of my life and now, having Will, it's beyond
anything I ever dreamed."  He cleared his throat and tightened his grip,
"Which is why I want you to have what you need to make you as happy as
you've made me.  I'm offering you a divorce Dana.  I'm not going running
out to get one without discussing it with you this time."

"Walter?  What have I - "

"You've done nothing but be the marvelous person you are.  But you need
Mulder as much as he needs you.  I have to admit I didn't know
relationships like yours existed, and to be honest I don't think they do
for other people.  But you two. . ." He took a deep breath, "I want to be a
hands on father, Dana.  I want Will to know me, to know who I am in his
life even though he's living with you and Mulder.  I want to attend all of
his games and school plays and whatever."

She was crying freely now.  Why couldn't she love his man as much, need him
as much?  But he was right, as much as she did love him, Mulder was
necessary for her very survival.

"It's not like I'll be out of your life, Dana.  I hope Mulder can handle
that.  We have a permanent connection and I want you to know you can always
come to me for anything.  Dana?  Dana honey, calm down."  He moved to her
side taking her in his arms and rocking her.

"Don't be sad, Dana.  We'll make it work.  It will be good arrangement.  I
know you love me, Dana, don't ever wonder about that.  Now calm down, no
more crying.  Okay?"  He lifted her face to his and kissed her gently,
wiping her tears away with his handkerchief.

"I know I'm springing this on you, but I figured the details needed to be
worked out before Will came home.  I'm not sure Mulder has room for him in
his present apartment and I can't see him wanting to live here.  Why don't
you give him a call and get him over here.  I'll make myself scarce so you
two can talk."

"Walter, I. . ."

"I'm going to miss you Dana.  If Mulder can handle it, maybe sometime we'll
get him to baby-sit and go out somewhere."

She chuckled through the tears.  "It's a date.  I promise."

"Good.  Go splash some water on your face and then call him."  He helped
her to her feet and she put her arms around him.  He held her for a moment
then disengaged her hands and turned her toward the bedroom.

When she returned he made her comfortable again and handed her the phone.
"I'll be at the coffee shop on the corner, and I'll have my cell phone."
He kissed her forehead and let himself out of the apartment.

"Yeah."  Not even a hello, he didn't care.

"Mulder, it's me.  Can you come over?"

"Isn't Walter there?"  Seeing her was the last thing he needed right now.
He needed the time to adjust to this new arrangement, where he was
unnecessary, just a friend of the family.

"No, he had to go out."

"He's left you there alone?  Now?  Shit, I'll be right there."  What the
hell kind of a jerk was she married to?  It didn't sound like Walter, but
damn if he'd give him any credit right now.  Leaving her alone, now, shit!

He lost no time in reaching her apartment and let himself in with his key.
He found her sitting in the living room, her eyes still puffy and red.
"Scully, what?"  He was on his knees in front of her.

She took his hand and tugged him up on the couch beside her.  "When did you
get a key to this place?"

"Oh, Walter gave it to me with the pregnancy got complicated.  We didn't
want you having to get up to let me in or anything."

She closed her eyes and rested her head against him.

"Tell me what's wrong.  Why are you crying?  You wouldn't be here if it was
Will."

"You're right.  Will's fine.  Mulder, Walter has offered to give me a
divorce so that I, that you and I. . . "  She saw the hope flare in his
eyes and relaxed a little.

"So that we can be married?"  He bent down to look her directly in the eye.

"Yes, if you want me, us.  I guess I'm a package deal now."

"If!  Scully, you're not jerking me around, this is for real?  Walter is
going to let us be together?"  His grip on her tightened, he wanted to draw
her into his arms, but fear held him off.

"He says we will be whether he's part of the picture or not.  But Mulder he
is Will's father, he's always going to be with us, part of our family."

"I don't care about that Scully, I don't.  I just have to be with you and
whoever you bring with you, big bald guy or little one.  When?"

"Well, that's why he brought it up today.  He thought we should make some
arrangements before Will comes home, so he won't be disrupted."  She was
watching his eyes and loving what she was seeing.

"Right, right.  We'll need a two-bedroom.  I think I know of one.  Yeah."
His mind was racing with what he needed to accomplish.  He couldn't bring a
family into his apartment.   A family!  He was going to have a family and
be with her.  Last night he'd finally allowed that dream to die and now
here it was coming true.  He couldn't keep his lips from hers another
minute, pulling her against him and feeling her in his arms and knowing she
belonged there.

He owned Walter so much and he'd find a way to repay him, later.  For the
first time in over a year, since he'd personally shoved her into another
man's arms, she was his again.  Now he just wanted to savor this.